Tag: Oakdale FCI

“12 PAGES” by Tony Casson

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“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged.” Matthew 7:1 NLT

“That soul that can
Be honest is the only perfect man”
John Fletcher

Excited about the ever-approaching date of my release, and eager to join with others to share, build upon, and exercise my faith in God, I asked my ever-faithful friend, editor, and research assistant, Diane, to locate a church in Hollywood, Florida that I could reach out to.

“The Church” – as I shall refer to it – that she found online seemed to be exactly what I was looking for. Their website was proud of the fact that they were a Bible-based church, and listed were several “Statements Of Faith”, not the least of which was “The power of Christ to save men eternally from the penalty of sin….” (Romans 6:23)

“The Church’s” website included instructions on how to “Become A Christian”. The very first sentence stated that “The central theme of the Bible is God’s love for YOU AND FOR ALL PEOPLE.” (emphasis mine)

There was also a claim made that “We Are Sinful” and the Holy Bible was quoted to substantiate that claim: “For all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God.” (Romans 3:23 NIV)

The website went on to list the many groups, activities and missions supported by “The Church”, and I noticed among them that they worked with another group that assisted inmates in Florida with Bible study courses. ” Wow! A prison ministry! I could be helpful there!” I thought.

“The Church listed contact information and a mailing address so I sat down and wrote a 12 page letter to one of the individuals listed.

It was not just any old letter. It was 12 painful pages of acknowledgement of my life of sin and full disclosure of the charges that put me in prison. It was 12 pages of truth about what I had done and how far I had allowed myself to sink into the clutches of sin. It was 12 long, painful pages that retraced the road to Hell that I was on and I recounted, once more, the horror of attempting to atone for that sinful life by attempting to end it.

Those 12 pages were difficult to write, but I felt the need to be totally upfront with the people of “The Church”. I felt confident that in acknowledging past mistakes, I would find acceptance among them. I felt that I would be welcomed.

Those 12 pages also held out my hope for understanding and compassion and I tried to include in those pages the things that I have been doing while in prison to fix what was broken and to work towards becoming the man God intended me to be from the beginning.

I shared my excitement at the discoveries I had made not only in the Bible, but within my own heart as well. I discussed things I had written in these Chronicles and I shared examples of how God had inspired me and guided me in the writing of “TODAY IS….A GIFT FROM GOD”.

In those 12 pages I tried to take responsibility for what I had done and demonstrate how I had changed. I quoted from one of my devotionals titled “TODAY IS….the perfect day to realize that anyone can change.” In that devotional I wrote, “But what if everyone were to embrace all of mankind with the same love that the Lord does? What if we all viewed the worst that society has to offer as having the potential to be the best that the world has ever seen?”

It was with a confident hope for a positive response that I placed those 12 pages into a large manila envelope along with 6 pages of my daily devotionals. I dropped it into the mailbox with the sure knowledge that I was taking a positive step towards building a life upon my release; a life totally different from the one that led to this prison.

As the weeks went by with no response at all, I began to become a little unsettled. “Perhaps he is sharing the whole package with the entire congregation. Maybe I will get 100 letters welcoming me into my new spiritual home!” The time kept passing and the letters never came. I began to see “The Church” in a different light.

After 2 months, my friend Diane emailed “The Church” on my behalf and received no response at all. My sister Kathy then called repeatedly and finally was able to speak to the man I had sent the 12 pages to. After all that time, he said he had just started to read it and would finish it “next week”. He said he would call her back.

That was several weeks ago and it has now been 3 months and one week since I optimistically mailed those 12 pages. There will be no further attempts on the part of myself or anyone else to contact “The Church”. Silence sometimes is extremely painful to one’s ears and heart, and I think this would qualify as one of those times. But I have prayed over this whole thing and I believe that I have come to understand the problem here. Most likely I could have saved myself a little time and trouble had I inquired in the beginning if “The Church” accepted IMPERFECT sinners or if they only accepted PERFECT ones.

You see, as one who is required to register as a sex offender, I suspect I fall into a category that makes me undesirable with some churches. I have been told that this is not uncommon; that there are many churches that have ‘standards’. As ridiculous as this sounds, and as absolutely contrary to every word in the Holy Bible that it IS, many churches only accept PERFECT sinners. This must be an oversight on the part of whoever put together the website for “The Church”. Perhaps that should be stated clearly…”PERFECT SINNERS ONLY”. That way those of us who are IMPERFECT sinners would not waste valuable time that they could be using ministering only to those who have sinned according to their standards.

Perhaps I need to run an ad in Craigslist. How about this:

“FREE TO GOOD SPIRITUAL HOME”

One VERY imperfect sinner. I am old, but I can learn new tricks.
I am housebroken, and can be useful in many ways. I can help minister
to the poor, feed the hungry, assist the elderly, and I can even cook.

I prefer to NOT do windows.

What do you think?

In the meantime, I will do this: I will pray to God for His forgiveness for “The Church”. I will ask Him to help them to grow in their understanding of what He expects from those who claim to work in His name.

And I will thank Him for loving me, IMPERFECT sinner that I am, and for giving me His promise of a future and a hope. I will also thank Him for the life He gave me that I tried to end so senselessly, and for the ability to write the 12 pages that I wrote knowing that I have HIS approval, His forgiveness, His mercy, and HIS love.

God bless you all.

TODAY’S GIFT by Tony Casson

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Time for another excerpt from the upcoming book, “Today Is….A Gift From God.” Today’s devotional is from January 20.

TODAY IS… a good day to avoid self-sufficiency.

“The Lord said to Gideon, ‘The people who are with you are too many for Me to give Midian into their hands, for Israel would become boastful, saying ‘My own power has delivered me.'” Judges 7:2 NASB

When God convinced Gideon that it was he who God wanted to rescue Israel from the armies of Midian, Gideon’s own army numbered some 32,000 men. God had assured Gideon a victory, but was concerned that once the victory was won, Gideon and his army would attribute the victory to their own strength and not God’s. God called upon Gideon to send all but 300 of his warrior’s home. With an army so small, victory could only come with God’s help. “The Lord said to Gideon, ‘I will deliver you with the 300 men…'”  (Judges 7:7 NASB).

Far too often we pray to God for His help with a particular problem or situation then take the credit for ourselves when it is resolved or taken care of. We seem to forget that we asked God for help and somehow conveniently seem to think we were the source of the solution. We must never allow self-sufficiency to cause us to believe that we can do what must be done without help from God.

Before entering into the land promised to the Israelites by God, Moses cautioned them to “…then watch yourself, that you do not forget the Lord who brought you from the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.”  (Deuteronomy 6:12 NASB).

Moses feared what would happen when the Israelites discovered the prosperity of the Promised Land. “…a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant…” (Deuteronomy 6:10-11 NIV). He was afraid that they would then feel self-sufficient and fall prey to the desire to obtain more of everything except God, who had delivered them to that land of plenty.

As creations of God, we should all be thankful to Him for each new sunrise, for each breath that we take, and for everything that we have, yet we often get caught up in feelings of pride. Self-importance leads to self-sufficiency and that leads us away from God.

It is impossible for us, as humans, to love God as much as He loves us. But if we love Him with all that we are, and thank Him daily for His love and for all that He is, we will avoid any temptations to take credit away from God and claim it for ourselves. We must always give credit to God and thank Him for everything. Without Him we are nothing, but with Him we have everything we need.

*******

“TODAY’S GIFT” by Tony Casson

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Time for another excerpt from the upcoming book, “Today Is….A Gift From God.” Today’s devotional is from March 29.

TODAY IS…

the right day for a little anger management. 

“My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry…” James 1:19 NIV

The instructions given by James in this verse have been valuable ones for all who have read them since they were first written. Particularly when he admonishes everyone to be “slow to become angry.”

We are all familiar with the term “Anger Management,” and even though James did not use those exact words, managing our anger is exactly what he was talking about.

It would be the extremely rare individual, indeed, who never gets angry. Each of us gets pushed to the brink at some point in time. The reasons for our anger are an important consideration in managing how we react. When we become angry because of an injustice that we are witness to, the cause of the anger is justified, but how the anger is managed is important. Anger can move us to take positive action to correct a situation. Controlling our anger rather than letting it control us can be very helpful in certain situations and for certain reasons.

There are other types of anger that we should exercise even tighter control over. Anger borne of jealousy, a bruised ego, or a selfish perception of “hurt” is destructive and nothing good can come out of it. This type of anger damages relationships, hurts friendships, and accomplishes nothing positive.

Many of us know someone whose ‘flash-point’ is extremely low and is triggered by some perception of a wrong being perpetrated on them. The response to the most inconsequential thing sends them into a destructive, uncontrolled and potentially violent rage that is uncomfortable to witness and even causes friends and family to avoid that person in certain situations.

If this describes you or someone you know, it is important to listen to James when he says, “…for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” (James 1:20 NIV).

There are movies and television shows that treat Anger Management as a humorous subject. In real life, there is nothing at all humorous about uncontrolled anger. It may require a lot of work for some, but controlling our anger is important to each one of us, as well as those around us.

*******

“IN DEFENSE OF THINKING” by Tony Casson

On By Tony CassonIn ThinkingLeave a comment

“Wise people think before they act;
Fools don’t – and even brag about their foolishness.”
Proverbs 13:16 NLT

“We do not what we ought;
What we ought not, we do;
And lean upon the thought
That chance will bring us through.”
Matthew Arnold “Empedocles On Etna”

One wouldn’t think that thinking itself should require defending. That is, unless one has observed the nature of humans in general, and the nature of humans who are incarcerated, in particular.

An enormous amount of thought, time, energy, and money, both ‘real’ and of the jailhouse variety (i.e. stamps or commissary items) is wasted – and there really is no other term for it other THAN wasted – fighting the effects of our behavior AFTER the fact because we find it impossible to think about the effects of our behavior BEFOREHAND.

Simply put: WE DO NOT THINK BEFORE WE ACT.

Since it would appear that we do not engage in that activity nearly as often as we should, there must be a reason. Therefore, since there is a reason to NOT engage in it, I find myself compelled to defend thinking in general, and thinking before we act in particular.

In a prison environment, one is constantly surrounded by people. There are precious few moments of privacy or solitude and even those are subject to interruption and are therefore not moments of TRUE privacy or solitude. Since there are always people around, if one is inclined to do so – and I AM inclined to do so – one can observe human nature as exhibited by the sea of humanity that surrounds us and, hopefully, learn something from it.

One thing that stands out among the many observations that I have made is that there are a LOT of men around me who seem surprised at the length of their sentences. As a result, the thought, time, energy, and money that I mentioned earlier is spent trying to find some magic loophole that will shorten, or eliminate, the time spent behind bars.

The obvious seems to escape all who have been relegated to spend a portion of their lives on the unfortunate side of the fence: Had we thought about the potential for prison as a result of our actions BEFOREHAND, perhaps none of the thought, time, energy, and money that is expended trying to UNDO something WE DID to ourselves would need to be expended.

In other words: THINK BEFORE YOU ACT!

Let me repeat that in a different way: Think BEFORE you act!

And another: THINK before you act!

Now THOSE are thoughts worth thinking and well worth defending! Look at it this way: It is easier to not let the cat out of the bag than it is to get the cat back in the bag after it is let out.

Oh! Wait a minute. That’s sort of like cruelty to animals, isn’t it? Poor analogy.

Let me think about that for a moment. 😉

God bless you all.

“THE POET IN PRISON” by Tony Casson

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I recently met a young man named James Dustin Smith. He prefers to be called “Dustin”. I discovered that he has a close relationship with God that he relies on to help him get through his own personal situation, and I also had the pleasure of reading a book of poems that he penned. His sister compiled them into that beautiful little book as a birthday present for her brother. It is attractively done and full of….well….it is full of a young man’s innermost thoughts about himself, life, people he loves, and God. As you read the collection, there is a verse from the Holy Bible on each left-hand page, with one of Dustin’s poems on the opposing page. It is a thoughtful compilation, and I enjoyed the things that Dustin shared in it.

The book can be purchased at Blurb.com for a modest price if anyone is interested. Dustin proudly said that it has sold over 500 copies already. He said that to purchase the book, one need only go to that website and search the title, “Rebuilding My Vessel” A Collection of Poems Written By James Dustin Smith Compiled By Kayla Smith Wernet.

Dustin was kind enough to give me permission to include a selection from his book in these Chronicles, so I am offering you the poem which the book itself is named after. I give you:

“REBUILDING MY VESSEL” by James Dustin Smith

Oh, how I sank into my ocean
As I cry out Lord, this is my devotion
Blinded as can be
I once sailed through these waters with my eyes only on me
I used to think I could guide my ship and never sink
But, your mighty waters are so rough
And with every blow to my ship
I taste the water I must sip
Yes, Lord, as I sail through the sea
Your mighty waters pour onto me
Nothing can phase me with you as my captain
I rise up on these waters and this is where my new life happens

I hope you will all give the book a second glance at Blurb.com http://www.blurb.com/books/3586679-rebuilding-my-vessel

God bless you all.

“TODAY’S GIFT” by Tony Casson

On By Tony CassonIn Today IsLeave a comment

Time for another excerpt from the upcoming book, “Today Is….A Gift From God.” Today’s devotional is from October 14.

TODAY IS…

the ideal day to be thankful for the breath of God. 

“And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.”   Genesis 2:7 KJV

It was not enough for God to form man. He also had to give him life with His own breath. With the breath of life, He also gave us the ability to become the vessel through which life is created again, and again, and again. From that very first breath, the world has increased in population until the number of people exceeds a staggering seven billion inhabitants of the world God created.

There is no person who walks this earth who is not alive as a result of that first breath of God and that is something we should all be thankful for. Every breath we take is a gift of love from God made possible with that first breath of man.

The breath of God not only gave us life, it has saved the lives of those who follow Him. As the Israelites were pursued by the army of Pharaoh, God intervened. In their Song of Deliverance, Moses and the people of Israel sang, “At the blast of Your breath, the waters piled up! The surging waters stood straight like a wall; in the heart of the sea the deep waters became hard.” (Exodus 15:8 NLT)

God did not create us to abandon us. Those who obey His simple instructions for life will always be able to count on the breath of God. Just as the Israelites saw the power of God’s breath when he parted the Red Sea so they could escape Pharaoh’s army, they saw His breath destroy those who would harm those who obeyed Him. “But you blew with your breath, and the sea covered them. They sank like lead in the mighty waters.” (Exodus 15:10 NIV)

When He sent His son to suffer and die so that our sins could all be forgiven and we could look forward to eternal life, He gave Him the power to fill His disciples with the Holy Spirit. Jesus told them He was sending them out as His Father had sent Him. “And when He had said this, He breathed on them and said to them, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit.’” (John 20:22 NASB)

It was the breath of God that gave life to all of mankind. It is the breath of God that fills us all with the Holy Spirit. It is the breath of God that saves us when we are in danger.

Every single time we take a breath, it is a gift from God, and we should take every opportunity to tell Him how thankful we are.

 

“GOODBYE, AND GOOD LUCK TO A GOOD MAN” by Tony Casson

On By Tony CassonIn Steve MarshallLeave a comment

Steve Marshall left Oakdale for the next stop in HIS journey. He has been transferred to another prison, this one in California, where he will be closer to family and friends who will soon be able to visit him on a regular basis. My heart is light with the joy that he must be feeling, but it is heavy with a sense of loss. I consider him my friend and an island of intelligence in a sea of insanity.

His contributions here in the pages of these “Chronicles” have always been meaningful, insightful, well-written, and thought provoking. They were also sincere, and flowed from his heart and Steve, for whatever it is worth, I know that you are a good person, and so do those other men here who took the time to get to know you.

Steve has a few more years yet that are owed to the Bureau of Prisons, but I pray that the time goes quickly and that it is punctuated heavily with hugs and kisses from those he loves.

I wish you the best of luck, my friend, and I ask God to watch over you, keep you safe, and protect your heart.

And just as quickly as an individual departs for another compound, a camp, a halfway house, or home, the space vacated is filled by another person in some stage of fulfilling their OWN obligations.

If every new person examines his heart the way Steve Marshall did, each one of them will be taking a giant step towards correcting what was broken that caused them to pass through these gates, disrupt their lives, and disappoint their families.

There seems to be no end to the supply of individuals who have crossed lines that should never be crossed. At the same time, there seems to be no end in sight to the irresponsibility of those who can do things such as those outlined in articles in these pages by Steve and myself that would help to raise awareness and reduce the number of ruined lives that need to become a part of this process.

http://mediarow.com/oakdale-chronicles/2013/05/ballad-of-a-lost-man-found-lyrics-by-steve-marshall/

http://mediarow.com/oakdale-chronicles/2013/05/in-knowledge-lies-the-potential-for-change/

http://mediarow.com/oakdale-chronicles/2013/02/resetting-my-life-or-how-i-learned-to-stop-worrying-and-love-prison/

http://mediarow.com/oakdale-chronicles/2012/10/when-i-get-out-of-prison-im-going-straight/

For now, I will simply say, “Goodbye and good luck, Steve. You are a very good man and you will be missed.”

May God bless you all.

“TODAY’S GIFT” by Tony Casson

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Time for another excerpt from the upcoming book, “Today Is….A Gift From God.” Today’s devotional is from January 12.

TODAY IS…

a good day to deal with doubt.

“Then He said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here, and look at my hands. Put your hand into the wound in my side. Don’t be faithless any longer. Believe!” John 20:27 NLT

How strong is your faith? How confident is your belief? Publicly, you may proclaim that your faith is unshakeable; that your belief is without reservation. Privately, there may be times when a shadow of doubt crosses your heart as a cloud sometimes crosses in front of the sun, blocking its light and its warmth.

The disciple Thomas not only needed to see Jesus’ wounds, he needed to feel them for himself before he was completely ready to believe that Jesus had truly risen from the dead.

Simon Peter’s faith was strong enough to trust Christ and step out of the boat onto the water. “‘Yes, come,’ Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus.”  (Matthew 14:29 NLT).

His fear created doubts that caused him to start sinking making him cry out to Jesus for help. His doubts would surface again when Jesus was taken into custody and Peter denied three times that he even knew who Christ was, just as Jesus said he would. “Jesus replied, ‘I tell you the truth, Peter – this very night, before the rooster crows, you will deny three times that you even know me.'”  (Matthew 26:34 NLT).

God does not condemn us for our moments of human weakness that result in doubt provided we use our struggle with it to strengthen our faith. Since we are merely human, we should not allow it to shatter us if we have an occasional moment of doubt. It is during these times that we must rely on the Word of God to help us reach out and ‘touch the wounds of Jesus’ for ourselves and find the wisdom to strengthen our belief.

The apostle Thomas became known as ‘Doubting’ Thomas. He went on to become one of Christ’s most fervent apostles, traveling to India and founding the first Christian church there in A. D. 52 in the town of Parur, which is located on the southeastern coast in the state of Kerala. Ultimately, Thomas traveled farther than any of the other apostles including the indefatigable Paul who traveled much of the area bordering the northern and eastern Mediterranean Sea.

Simon Peter was originally Simon the fisherman. Jesus changed his name to Peter which meant ‘rock’. In describing Peter, He said “…upon this rock I will build my church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it.” (Matthew 16:18 NLT).

Peter did, indeed, become a ‘rock’ for Christ: He was the first to invite non-Jews to join the early church; he became the recognized leader among Jesus’ disciples; he was one of Jesus’ inner group of three; he went on to write 1 Peter and 2 Peter.

So. Do you sometimes have doubts? If you do, then you are in very good company. Use the Word of God to overcome your doubts, strengthen your faith, and do great things for the glory of God!

“TODAY’S GIFT” by Tony Casson

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Time for another excerpt from the upcoming book, “Today Is….A Gift From God.” Today’s devotional is from February 16.

TODAY IS…

a good day to accept the gift of God’s peace.

 “And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:7 NASB

World peace would be a nice thing to experience, wouldn’t it? A world without conflict is difficult for us to imagine. A world where the rights of others are respected and everyone looks out for each other would be – well, it would be heaven!

Heaven, indeed, for until Satan no longer rules the world, the above scenario cannot exist. Until the day Satan is removed from the picture, sin will continue to tempt all of us and mankind’s weakness will lead to selfish pursuits that will most assuredly cause others to suffer or create tension that results in war or strife somewhere on this planet.

So what, then, is God’s gift of peace? It is the gift that Christ promised His disciples that they would receive after He was gone and they were filled with the Holy Spirit. “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27 NIV). This same gift is offered to all of us and if every one of us accepted it, we would have peace throughout the world. Unfortunately, far too many of us allow the forces of evil to rule our hearts and our minds, making the acceptance of this gift impossible. Those of us who do accept Christ and His gift of peace have His assurance that we can “…be content whatever the circumstances.” (Philippians 4:11 NIV). We have His assurance that we need not fear today or any day in the future. We have His assurance that the peace we will have in our hearts and minds will give us the strength to fight those forces which create doubt, uncertainty and apprehension within us and we have His assurance that God is in control.

If God is in control, we are safe. That does not mean that we will be exempt from the pitfalls of life, but when filled with the gift of God’s peace, we shine the light of God on those pitfalls and we can then accept them, deal with them, learn from them and grow as better Christians as a result.

All of this springs from the acceptance of the gift that was offered to the world when it was offered to the disciples by Christ. At the time, it is likely that none of them were fully able to comprehend the importance or significance of the gift itself. Nor could they completely appreciate the love with which it was promised. But once Christ had risen and they were filled with the Holy Spirit, they surely must have felt the love and the strength that God’s peace instilled in them, for it enabled them to face rejection, ridicule, ignorance, hostility, persecution and even death as they worked tirelessly to share that gift of peace with the world.

Take time today to thank God for this gift and make every effort to share it with others.

 

“THE LAST FATHER’S DAY” by Tony Casson

On By Tony CassonIn Father's DayLeave a comment

Father’s Day should not be spent in prison, and this Father’s Day, June 16, 2013 will be the LAST one I will ever spend in one.

This Father’s Day marks the beginning of the end of my time spent paying the criminal portion of the price of my unacceptable behavior. There is a lifetime of societal punishment that will be meted out in small doses as people discover this part of my past once I leave here, but when I am gone from this place at least I can say with certainty that I shall not return. Not to Oakdale, or anyplace like it. No Arnold Schwarzenegger exit line of “I’ll be back” for me, folks.

You see, no matter what fingers may be pointed at me, or whispering is done about me, no individual on earth has the power to make me something I am not, and I am NOT what I DID. What I did to spend four Father’s Days in a place where I could not get a hug or a phone call from my children is NOT who I am. Not even close.

Even though I tried – unsuccessfully – to end a tormented life, God knew me, and it was God who has shown me the difference between DOING and BEING. God showed me that I could eliminate the one who did what I did by becoming the person He made me in the beginning.

I have a lot to be thankful for this Father’s Day. I am thankful that I have the opportunity to live the rest of my life in a manner that will please MY Father, and in doing so perhaps my own children will take pride in the fact that I am THEIRS. I am thankful for the children God gave to me, for they are beautiful and special beyond words.

I am thankful that God has blessed me in all the ways He has and that my eyes are finally open to SEE just how greatly blessed I am.

I am thankful that God is always ready to listen, ready to help, and ready to show me the correct step to take and help me find the courage to take it, no matter the time of day, day of week, or situation at hand.

I am thankful for every breath I take that God would not let me steal from myself.

And while I may not be able to spend Father’s Day with my children, at least I can spend it with God, and I can look to Him and say, “Happy Father’s Day, Lord!”

May God’s peace be with you all.