“Welcome to Prison: Sense of Humor Required”

“Welcome to Prison: Sense of Humor Required”

I’m not sure laughter is the best medicine, but it surely helps to have some around to ensure that at least some tears are tears of joy.

I called my sister’s home on Thanksgiving morning to wish them all a Happy Day.  Larry – her husband – was in the background and I heard his muffled voice saying something to her, followed by her saying “ That’s sick!”   Of course, this perked up my ears so I had to ask, “What’s sick?”, whereupon she replied “oh, he said ‘he’d better not be calling to say he can’t make it to dinner’ “.


In the words of one of the Blue Collar Comedians, “I don’t care whut enybody sez,  At’s funny right ‘chere!”

No,  Kathy,  that wasn’t sick, this might be thought of as that way though (insert evil grin here. . . .)There were three of us sitting in my cell one day: My ‘cellie’, and I and Rob.   Rob is from Des Moines and is a pretty funny guy.

Now, I must preface this story by saying that I have discussed attempted suicide with most close acquaintances in here, present company included.

On this particular day, Rob was sitting in one of the 2 chairs and noticed a string hanging from the bottom of the lower bunk along the wall. He asked me if he could borrow my scissors and I asked him “For what?”.

“So I can cut this string off” he replied,” so no one gets tempted and tries to hang himself”  .

I laughed, then looked at him straight-faced and deadpanned “Oh no, no danger there, I’m a cutter.”   Whereupon we all roared    “At’s  funny right ‘chere!”

Aaron is another who prefers the tears of laughter to the tears of pain and sorrow.  Although I am sure he is familiar with the latter.   His mom, Joy is a reader of “The Chronicles” (Hi, Joy!) and she should know – although I’m sure she does – that her son is a good man.  A very good man – quite intelligent, and very funny when the mood strikes him.

Sometimes I give him fatherly advice (He’s  a couple years younger than my daughter).  Sometimes he gives me advice,, but I never take it.  After all, he’s just a dumb Pollack! Ha!  Just kidding Joy!  He is a good man with while I wish he were home with his daughter and were he could hug his mom, I’m glad he’s around for my temporary use.

He and Anthony would hit it off, I think.  They are both intelligent with minds that are quicker than a flying squirrel trap.

I know anyone will see that humor in a given situation, it will be those two.  As a matter ofct, it was those two who appreciated my Jeffery Dahmer joke the most.  What Jeffery Dahmer joke, you might ask?  Oh no, . . . .  I couldn’t possibly. . . . not here. . . . no, no, I. . . .  Oh, alright.

One day, Jeffery Dahmer’s mother went over to his home to visit.  As they were sitting there eating lunch, she told him (you know how mothers are. . .) “You know Jeffery, I really don’t like your friends”.

He looked up from his food, sighed and said, “Well Mom,  just eat the vegetables then”.  Ha, Ha! (or is that “yuck, yuck,”?)

You decide.

(Evil laughter accompanied by crazed organ music – fade to black. . . .).

3 thoughts on ““Welcome to Prison: Sense of Humor Required”

  1. HA! now I’m reading this nearly five years after, and have put a comment in Tony’s afteroakdale blog that I am reading this chronologically but not commenting. That’s the way of it. Every post since then has cried out for one. And talking of crying, your post about your mother and her Macular Degeneration… your thanks to Anthony… You must be equally proud of each other!
    I don’t know if so many years after the post this will be read by either of you, but right now I am laughing!


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