Failing At Freedom

By Tony Casson

McDonald’s, masturbation, pornography, and prison–no one eats there, nobody does it, no one looks at it, and nobody did it. Yeah…

Prior to surrendering at Oakdale, while spending some absolutely wonderful time at my sister Kathy’s home in Virginia, Kathy and I would watch a little afternoon TV.

One afternoon, Oprah came on and her show was all about the dramatic increase in the number of women who viewed pornographic material.

If there was no such increase prior to Oprah’s show, I am sure this would be the case AFTER it, because her primary guest, former pornstar Jenna Jameson, was promoting a new book, “How to Make Love Like a Pornstar”.

First: it’s funny putting “make love” and “pornstar” in the same sentence. We know that’s not correct…

Society is confused enough and in enough of a moral black hole without Oprah ostensibly glamorizing an industry that, while enormous in size and social impact, is anything but glamorous. Quick! Someone check Jenna J.’s book sales post Oprah!

It is extremely important to note that Jenna J.’s paramour on film was usually her husband, and while she was awarded superstar status during filming and was able to demand star treatment, and while her films were, by nature, higher budget productions, Jenna J. was very much an exception to the rule and the total sales of the porn industry would not have suffered much if she had never made a single film. Don’t let anyone kid you; the production of the vast majority of pornographic material is a nasty, cheap-motel, drug-induced, and drug-filled seedy industry-based batch of garbage with no socially redeeming value whatsoever other than to satisfy society’s ever-growing demand for instant gratification and self-indulgence.

An innocent expression of free speech, this industry is not.

Artistic expression? Hmmm–I suppose one might say that. Although, art galleries are not anywhere near as prolific as adult video/book stores, but at least they do contain the word “art”.

But then, the internet now is the main source of all things rated “xxx”. But that’s OK, as long as it’s “adult” material, right? I mean, what’s the big deal anyway? Maybe this stuff is in poor taste; maybe it is cheap and tawdry; maybe it does objectify women in most cases and cheapens something that should be held in a much higher regard. “If you don’t want to look at it, don’t look at it. But don’t criticize me for doing it.” Right?

Well shame on me for thinking that way, and shame on you, too! Divide the number of people viewing this in half, and that is the number of “you” I’m speaking to.

The truth is, there is darkness in the soul of every human being. How much of that darkness we allow to escape and become a part of us varies, but we all allow at least some. Evil is seductive, and very, very alluring. Evil is very slickly packaged and very smartly promoted. Evil’s hands upon your soul is like the finely trained, skilled hands of a world-class masseuse–relaxing you, massaging you, carrying you away to places of unimaginable pleasure and well-being.

And, just as some people are more affected by–and susceptible to–the effects of drugs and alcohol, some are more readily–and completely–seduced by evil.

I am one of those people, and I have come to realize I am not a unique individual, trust me. When I was slashed at my neck, trying to drain my life’s blood from my body, I might have thought I stood alone, but I do not. I am one of a rapidly growing population who have been thoroughly seduced by evil, and I am standing before you now in an attempt to prevent others from being seduced to the point that I was.

We need to redefine ourselves as humans and help our friends, family, and society in general, rethink how we are dealing with this plague that has descended upon us.

I love the phrase one of my nephews used in describing his first year’s college experience to me: “I failed at freedom”, he said.

Well, I too have failed at freedom, but looking around me I think American society has also failed at freedom. We have chosen the low road of morality and behavior that reflects immaturity. Society’s collective behavior brings to mind a group of giggly 10-year-old kids viewing a naked breast for the first time.

As for me, I don’t giggle much these days. Hopefully my laps in moral judgment and mature behavior, which allowed me to be seduced by evil so completely will serve as a wake up call for someone out there and prevent his immoral, improper, and immature choices from completing his own decent into Hell.

My total lack of judgment has forced my family and friends to share in, or be a part of, this hell, and I can only hope that society comes to its senses before too many more have to join us.

I will never make excuses for my behavior. There is no excuse. Stupid, stupid decisions were made; irresponsible, reprehensible behavior was displayed; and many lives were altered in disastrously negative ways as a result.

I am responsible, I am sorry. But the razor wire still reflects the Louisiana sun during the day, and prison is still a lonely place at night.

2 thoughts on “Failing At Freedom

  1. Patti Hovey

    Dear Tony,
    I am writing quick and want you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I have been reading as I can and you are on my mind. We spoke a few years back before your mom passed and life never slowed down long enough after that. Please know how truly special you are to Matthew, Amy and myself. Our memories of time spent with you are wonderful ones.
    Life can take us to places we never imagined! So many never stop on their own to look within and make change until forced to in some way. Every one of us are an example of that. Doesn’t matter where or when that change comes we can only pray it does.
    I spoke with Matthew this morning and he has sent a letter off to you. He is requesting more of your blogs I have printed and mailed to him.
    Take care of yourself and be safe.
    Love, Patti

    Unless you bear with the faults of others, you betray your own. ~ Publilius Syrus


  2. Pingback: Tweets that mention Evil is Seductive: The Review | "TOC" --

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