Tag: Richard Roy

REPOST from August 24, 2013… “WITH EYES WIDE OPEN” by Tony Casson

On By Tony CassonIn EYES WIDE OPENLeave a comment

Since I am unable to write anything new at this time I would like to share a previous post with you…

“Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there.” Galatians  5:34  NLT

“We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.”  Hebrews  12:2  NLT

“And this is freedom, this is freedom; This is freedom nailed to a tree.”                                Karyn Williams – “This Is Freedom”

Towards the end of her long life, the list of my Mother’s physical afflictions and limitations had grown quite long as well. She had a degenerative bone disease called “Paget’s”; a ‘spinal stenosis’ which plagued her with debilitating back pain for years; greatly diminished hearing; and an advanced case of Macular Degeneration which ultimately left her legally blind.

Those afflictions which greatly affected the quality of her physical existence were, nonetheless, no match for her indomitable spirit. Her ability – indeed, her NEED – to smile never waned and never wavered. She seemed to have the power to see through things that were negative about people around her and allowed her to see, and to focus, on the good that she believed resides in us all.

It puzzled me that she could find so much worth smiling about in a life fraught not only with the pain of her physical maladies, but also the internal pain that came from her knowledge that each of her children suffered in his, or her, own way.  She accepted the fact that there wasn’t much she could do most of the time, except offer her prayers to God. This is not to say that prayer is an insignificant thing, because it most assuredly is NOT, but it is simply a fact that, as parents, we feel the need to do something tangible, and something immediate, when our children are hurting.

Nonetheless, my Mother was teaching me something important through all of those years, but the lessons would not finally develop clarity for me until I discovered for myself exactly where her ability to ‘see’ things, the way she did, came from.

You see, my Mother’s relationship with God gave her the ability to see things through the ‘eyes’ of her heart. This concept, and this ability, would elude me for years. In fact, it would be sometime after her death, and would require a suicide attempt that was very nearly successful, and a trip to federal prison before I, too, became able to ‘see’ things the way that beautiful, blind woman could.

To that point, I had endured a lifetime of pain and suffering, and had inflicted much pain and suffering upon those around me, the least of whom was the one who gave me life. But my Mother always smiled for me, and she always saw what I failed to see for many years. Finally, a few years after her smile was just an important fond memory, I arrived at a place where I could begin to understand my Mother’s lessons. A place where I could begin to realize my own ability to smile, and to see the good in those around me and, more importantly, I could see the good in myself.

I can clearly recall the exact moment when I felt the first faint stirrings within me indicating that something was changing inside of me. It was shortly after arriving at Oakdale to begin my sentence and I had gone outside to walk around the concrete ‘track’ that comprised the outer boundary of the inmate-accessible portion of the recreation yard.

The track itself is a 1/3 mile loop of sorts; not an oval or a circle or any other recognizable geometric shape, but it does begin and end in the same place. The first segment is a straightaway about 450′ long that heads due east. The track then turns to the north in a long, sweeping curve. At this point, the ‘only’ barrier to freedom is the set of two very tall chain link fences along the outer perimeter that are topped with some decidedly unfriendly looking razor wire, although the razor wire does sparkle brilliantly in the bright Louisiana sunshine or under the powerful lights that illuminate the grounds at nightfall.

As I rounded that first curve on the track, I glanced up over the fence ahead of me and to the right. A few hundred feet away, and outside the fence, there are some warehouses, maintenance facilities and large outdoor refrigeration and freezer storage units that service the compound. My eyes were immediately drawn to what I saw rising above the fence from the middle of those buildings. I could see, silhouetted against the sky, the top portion of an old wooden power pole. My immediate thought was, “That looks just like a cross.” I smiled to myself as I rolled the thought around in my head that it would be rather special to know that from that day forward, for the duration of my stay at Oakdale, each time I came outside to walk I would be able to look up and be reminded of Jesus Christ. The comfort of that reminder of His presence was something I grasped onto hungrily, and eagerly. It was also something I would quickly grow to look forward to seeing each time I ventured out to ‘the yard’ to walk.

I felt a stirring within me and I knew that something significant had begun. I would come to learn that God had chosen that moment to allow the ‘eyes’ of MY heart to begin to open.

As I continued walking along the track, my ‘cross’ loomed a little larger at first, but as the perspective changed and I drew closer, it seemed to drop lower until it ‘disappeared’ below the top of the fence. I found joy in my new discovery and felt a strange warmth spread through me. Little did I know at that point, that what I had experienced was just the beginning of a ‘vision’ that would become complete a few days later while I was enjoying another walk.

On that particular day, as I passed the point where the ‘cross’ dropped out of sight, I kept looking at the spot where the power pole itself was located on the other side of the fence. After walking about 50 feet, a picture began to reveal itself to me, clearer with each additional step. When I reached a point that was directly south of the object of my interest, I stopped on the side of the track and stared at the completed picture. What I was looking at was not ONE ‘cross’, but THREE crosses. The power pole that had drawn my attention originally was flanked on either side by another, shorter power pole. From this vantage point, I could see through the fence and, with the eyes of my heart opening wider still, I realized that what I was looking at were the crosses upon which Christ, and the two men who were crucified with him, died.

OK…I knew that these were not THOSE crosses, but the vision I was looking at appeared the same as what I had seen in illustrations and it seemed as if I had stumbled upon my own, private “Golgotha”. I am fairly certain that most of the men looking through those two chain link fences would only see three older, wooden power poles with wires and transformers on them that serviced a bunch of metal buildings and outdoor refrigerators and freezers, but I saw something else entirely.

With the newly opened eyes of my heart, the fences became transparent and the transformers and power lines disappeared. What I DID see was Jesus Christ hanging from the center cross looking down at me. What I DID see was a man taking the burden of my sins, and the sins of every other person in the world, and replacing that burden with freedom.

With the eyes of my heart, I could see what had been missing in my life. I could see forgiveness for what I had done wrong and I could see what I needed to do to correct those things. I could see the pain that I caused others, and I could see the pain that others caused me, and I could see the pain in the eyes of Jesus as He implored me to give all of that pain to HIM.

I could see the look of suffering on His face as He relieved me of my burden, but at the same time, I could feel His joy at the knowledge that His suffering was not in vain.

Now, with the eyes of my heart wide open, I could see the future and the hope that had been promised to ME. I could see that I was now truly free to do the RIGHT thing, for the RIGHT reason, and in the RIGHT way. I was now free to rid my heart of the darkness that had filled it so completely for so many years and replace it with the light that comes with the unshakeable faith I now had that no matter where I might walk from that day forward, I would never be alone, I did not need to be afraid, and I would never be without purpose.

I began to realize that I was no longer in prison at all. In fact, from that moment forward, I was more free than I had ever been in my life.

In a way, I had come to look upon my Mother’s physical ailments and afflictions as having created a prison of sorts for her. Suddenly, though, I was able to see just how free she had always been because the eyes of HER heart had ALWAYS been open.

Freedom can be a beautiful and inspiring thing.

It can also reduce us to tears when we think about the price that Christ Jesus paid for it. For people like myself, who had used their freedom poorly, and in a selfish, self-serving, and self-indulgent manner, the instant that the eyes of our heart open wide can be a very humbling moment of shame, embarrassment, and sadness.

Fortunately for us, God smiles and says, “It’s alright”. His ONLY concern is that we all – each and every last one of us – allow Him to come into our hearts and open our eyes. NOTHING else matters to him. Not when. Not where. Not why.

For the last three years and four months, I have been reassured and comforted, encouraged and reinforced by what I see out there almost daily. Each time I walk the track, I always say prayers of thanks to the One who suffered so horribly and painfully so long ago in order that we can ALL be free from sin and the slavery that accompanies it and chains us to our own individual versions of prison.

Over the years, I have made it a habit to share what I see with the different people I have walked with. It has always been a desire of mine to share it with those who read these Chronicles, but the description alone seemed inadequate. I felt that some sort of picture was needed to properly convey the image that I see so frequently, but actual photographs are out of the question and I am less an artist than I am even a writer, so I have NOT shared.

Until now.

My friend Richard Roy, who has been aware of how special those ‘crosses’ are to me, spoke with another inmate whose artistic talents are considerably greater than mine. His name is Will Mattingly, and Richard asked him if he would try to draw what I ‘saw’ out there on the other side of the fences.

The three of us walked one day and I shared my vision with Will, who then spent considerable time out there sitting and drawing. A few weeks later, Will passed along his finished work which I named “Through The Eyes Of The Heart”.

I can now share my personal ‘Golgotha’ with all of you, thanks to Richard’s thoughtfulness, and Will’s talent:

Through the Eyes of the Heart 2

No, there is not really a hole in the fence, and in reality there are TWO fences about 10 feet apart separating ‘us’ from ‘you’, but I told Will that I wanted him to convey the impression that the eyes of a person’s heart can remove obstacles that stand between us and the freedom to see what God wants us to see, and to do the things that He wants us to do.

I believe Will accomplished exactly that.

And thanks to those two good men, not only am I able to share the image with all of you, I will now have this drawing to frame and hang on my wall when I leave here to remind me of the freedom that I was given during my time of physical imprisonment. I will also be reminded of the sacrifice of Jesus and the tremendous burden that He removed from my shoulders.

God has opened wide the eyes of my heart, and He can open YOURS as well. With our eyes wide open we can see many things we could not see before: We can see hope; we can see peace, happiness, joy, love, and forgiveness; we can see the goodness that lives and breathes all around us. And with our eyes wide open we can also see the hunger, the pain, the suffering, and the desperation of other people. But these are not bad things to see, because once our eyes are open, we can also see our place in God’s plan to HELP those who are afflicted. Seeing our place will allow us to take the action necessary to improve the condition of our brothers and sisters who are all God’s children.

And THIS, my friends, is freedom.

May God bless you all, and may He open WIDE the eyes of YOUR hearts.

“PARTING IS SUCH SWEET SORROW – THE LAST SUPPER” By Tony Casson

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Leaving prison should have represented something akin to one of the best days of my life, and while there certainly was a growing sense of anticipation, that anticipation was cloaked in something which more closely resembled sadness as the time drew closer.

My last meal at Oakdale Federal Correctional Institution (FCI), on Monday, May 19, was chili with cheese and onions which I used to smother a humongous, perfectly-baked potato. The term ‘baked potato’ itself is a misnomer most of the time as the potatoes falling into that category are most often just boiled with the skin on. Since this potato was actually baked, this was a definite treat. Before being executed, this would not have qualified as a particularly spectacular last meal, but it was more than adequate as a meal I attended for the primary reason of seeing individuals from other housing units I might not otherwise get a chance to see before leaving. In other words, my last supper was more of a social event than a stop for sustenance.

Walking back to my housing unit, I lagged behind my dinner companions to say goodbye to a man named Frank. In his 50’s and of Filipino descent, Frank has a year or two left on his sentence. Frank and I both have a child living in Seattle: he, a daughter, and I, a son. We shook hands, embraced, and left each other with as much encouragement as we could muster. After leaving Frank, I heard my name and turned around to see a young man named Cameron, who was walking with Bernie Ebbers. Bernie is seven years into a 25 year sentence for ‘cooking the books’ in the incident responsible for the collapse of WorldCom. I have often pondered the necessity for locking him and others like him away for so long and causing so much devastation behind them when there are most likely better options that could be employed in our collective search for justice, fairness, and punishment that is meaningful and achieves a purpose beyond causing intelligent, successful, and enterprising individuals to simply waste away in prison. This is a complicated issue, and I digress from the main story, although that is nothing new. It is an issue that will need to be dealt with in greater detail later. For now, suffice it to say that I pray for Bernie and for his family.

Cameron is in his late 20’s and had taken pictures of his girlfriend while in a relationship. The pictures were of a personal, sexual nature. His intent was not to post them on the internet, but the relationship deteriorated, and somehow the young woman’s mother ‘discovered’ the pictures, and turned them over to the police. You see, the young lady was 17 and Cameron was 24 when the photos were taken and Cameron was charged with ‘production of child pornography’. He struck a deal which netted him ‘only’ 9 years instead of the mandatory minimum of 15. I think back to something my good friend Richard Roy told me about his grandparents. Richard’s grandfather was 28 and his grandmother was 14 when they were married. The relationship ‘only’ lasted 50 years.

The times have changed.

Cameron and I embraced and wished each other well. I was not close to Bernie, but we did say goodbye. He was a regular fixture walking the track, and in chapel services on Sunday. He addressed a business class I had taken and I was saddened by the story he told, but I was saddened many times over the previous 4 years of my incarceration by the stories I was told. They headed off in the direction of their housing unit, and I headed back to mine. I walked about 20 feet before looking around. It was a rare moment when there was no one close to me, either in front or behind me and I was thankful for I had to suppress an almost overwhelming urge to break down and cry.

The enormity of the human tragedies represented by the men I had come to know, to care for, to pray about, and to respect slammed into me like a freight train and for a brief moment, I simply wanted to fall down and weep.

I have written quite often over the last four years about my own acceptance of responsibility for the irresponsibility of my actions, and the enormity of the situation surrounding incarceration in general and the draconian, pointlessly long sentences handed out for internet crimes in particular as it all pertains to my friends, their families, and this country as a whole so the scope of it all came as no real surprise or revelation. I guess I just had a moment where I didn’t want to deal with it anymore. Like the occasional urge I still get to inhale cigarette smoke, it lasted only a brief moment, and then I was back to worrying about my friends. I was deeply saddened to be leaving them behind. Did I want to go? Of course, I did, but I wanted to take them all with me.

What I was preparing to leave behind was just a tiny snapshot of the total picture of what we are allowing to happen to this country because of our preference for pursuit, prosecution, and incarceration over prevention, as well as our growing need to sexualize everything in our lives until there is nothing left to sexualize but our children. We are pathetic, really, as a nation, and as individuals. There will be those who will point and loudly proclaim that it is me, and those like me, who are responsible for that condition, but that accusation would not even begin to adequately assign the blame and the responsibility.

I have accepted the blame for my part in all of this, but I can not, and will not, accept the blame for the misguided government officials who have allowed this to happen, not just to me, but to thousands, and potentially hundreds of thousands, of American citizens, to say nothing of their families.

As I reentered the place which had been my residence for the previous 4 years, I made a conscious effort to taste the sweetness of the successful completion of my sentence, but the bitterness of those misguided sentences received by some of those I was leaving behind rose like bile in the back of my throat. Stanley, 25 year sentence; David, 20 year sentence; Joseph, 17 1/2; Ken, 17 1/2; Pete, 15; Phillip, 12 1/2; and on, and on, and on. And for each one who leaves, there are more to fill in the spaces left.

Do not misunderstand me. I am angry at, and disappointed in, each man who willingly, knowingly, participated in his crimes. That said, I believe there are better ways to deal with the problem, as I have stated so many, many times before over the last 4 years. Ways that would also provide greater security for our children and protect other innocent victims from the scourge of internet pornography.

As I went around talking with different people, there were several awkward goodbyes as men who are not accustomed to displaying emotion in public fought back the urge to do so.

As I continued to say my goodbyes, I reflected on the fact that many of them expressed confident hope in me. The hope was that I would continue the things I began in prison and I will not disappoint them. Adjusting to breathing the ‘free air’ that Steve Marshall wrote to my dear friend Diane about will take some time, but I get ahead of myself.

In order to continue to do the things I have maintained must be done, I must first get to Washington, D.C. to begin my new life at the Central Union Mission (missiondc.org). I must get situated, centered, and build relationships with those who will hold sway over my new freedom, as well as those I will be working with, and for, in the mission itself, and as I prepare to reenter the workforce.

Exciting times lie ahead, filled with God’s promise of a future and a hope, but first I have to get there, and to do that, I have to get to Lafayette in the morning so I can get on the Grey Dog.

To be continued…………

“LETTERS TO HEAVEN – DISBANDED BROKEN BROTHERS” by Tony Casson

On By Tony CassonIn Letters to Heaven1 Comment

Dear God,

I have an important task before me and I come to you for help. Since You are the One who orchestrated the situation in the first place, asking You for help dealing with the situation as it prepares to change seems appropriate. Although I am learning to come to You first in ALL things, I do so now with extremely acute sensitivity to what You will guide my heart to do.

The judge who sentenced me recommended Butner, N.C. as my destination, but You saw things differently. You placed me in Oakdale because You had important things You wanted me to learn, and special people You wanted me to meet and learn from them.

There were four men in particular who were placed into my life here to help You shape me into a human being who can hold his head up high; who can speak openly and with enthusiasm about his love for You; who can freely discuss the issues causing his incarceration with the intent of helping others; and who can state with confidence the direction the rest of his life will take. You used the five of us, broken men all, to act as mirrors for each other that we may see ourselves in a new light, and from a different angle. You helped us work on what we saw until we could clearly see YOU looking back at us, reflected in ourselves.

Three of those individuals have left Oakdale FCI already.

Alan Steen was the first to leave. His case was overturned by the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals in New Orleans. Alan has returned to his wife and other family members in west Texas. Alan was the first to help me understand that following You was never going to be easy, but the rewards would be great and would be well worth the effort. He was the first, besides You and I, to know there was a book inside me called “TODAY IS….A Gift From God”, and he was the first to assure me that, with Your help, I would find the way to get it out. It is out, Alan, and for that, and many other reasons, I love you, my friend.

The second to leave was Rob from Virginia. I have never used his last name and there are reasons for that which do not need to be addressed here. They are his, and they all have to do with the tremendous services he performed for this country while in the Navy. Rob was the only one who lived in the same housing unit as I did, and we would meet a couple of times a week in my cell for one or two hours of the most amazing discussions about You, family, the things that brought us together, and ways of reaching beyond where we were when we came in here in order to become better men. Rob is back in Virginia finishing his sentence, but he is very close to home and he is in a Christian lifestyle program which I am certain is greatly enhanced by his presence. Robert, I love you, too, and I am happy you are close to your family now. I know you are all incredibly close and that speaks volumes about your character.

The third to leave did not go home either, but he is now in California, closer to HIS loved ones, and in an environment which seems to make him happy. This makes ME happy, because I love Steve Marshall, too, and when I leave here knowing he still has a couple of years to go, at least I will take with me the knowledge he is in a place better equipped to provide him with peace and some modicum of happiness. Steve is a man of incredible character in spite of the reasons he is incarcerated. He left here several months ago, but not before helping me to understand more about the art of writing (not that I have actually gotten better at it, but I do understand it…ha!). He also taught me about the ability of men to rise above others simply by being principled and honest. Our conversations were long and always insightful. He is an articulate, eloquent, deeply sensitive man with a lot to offer this world. He added a touch of dignity and class to our Toastmaster’s club and his presence and contributions are sorely missed. I consider Steve to be a lifelong friend, regardless of the fact we will likely never meet again.

This brings us to the fourth, and final individual and the important task I referenced when I began this letter to You, Lord. Richard Roy left Oakdale yesterday, and I ask You now to help me find the right words to convey exactly how important this man has been in my life. Richard is unique to our little ‘group’ in that he was the only one who was always close to home. As he was from Baton Rouge it was possible for him to have regular visits with his wife, daughters, mother, father, and other family members. I met Alan first, but Richard was in Alan’s housing unit and it was actually through Alan I met him.

Lord, I know in my heart this entire experience has been orchestrated by You from the beginning. Some of those reading these words may find my next statement quite odd, but by placing me in the middle of nowhere; by surrounding me with the men You did; and by paying attention to the tiniest of details, You have made this an unbelievably perfect prison experience. Add Diane Woodall to this Band of Broken Brothers and the result is simply astounding. There will be those who will be certain I have gone stark raving mad, but I stand by those words. We are all better people for the relationships YOU engineered. We all took FROM one another, and we all gave TO one another. This entire event could only have happened at Your direction and those who would laugh the entire thing off as coincidence simply do NOT know YOU!

I thank you, Lord, for the gift of each of these men. In particular, I humbly thank you for the gift of Richard Roy. Not too long ago, I wrote about how you had blessed me when you placed Diane Woodall in my life. I wrote that she had become the best friend I have ever had. I meant that with all of my heart, but she is going to have to share that distinction with Richard, and I doubt she will mind. The relationship with these two people is a miniscule example of the mind-boggling power You possess. It is proof of Your ability to love us in spite of ourselves, and give us exactly what we need, provided we have the sense to ask You to do that for us.

I listed a variety of functions Diane performed as the ‘cost’ of being a friend of mine. Richard’s list is long as well, and includes pushing me, prodding me, encouraging me, advising me, editing me, and critiquing me (I didn’t always handle that well, did I, my friend?). Richard talked to me about You, and he listened to me as I tested the waters of becoming bolder in the way I spoke about You. We shared tears of joy and tears of sorrow. We laughed and dreamed, and we shared fears, hopes, and deeply personal thoughts.

Contrary to what society as a whole may think, be told, or be led to believe, there are some great men residing in this nation’s prisons. While I certainly do not place myself in that category, I am humbly grateful to You, Lord, for enabling me to meet, and learn, from four of them. This country will probably shy away from the stain this experience will leave on their lives, but you and I know that is a tragedy in itself, because each and every one of them has tremendous value to offer. Rising above them all is Richard Roy. His voice should be heard for many reasons after he leaves here, and I pray You will use him to reach out and help others. There will be those who will scoff at the notion that people who have spent time in prison, particularly for ‘our’ crimes, can ever be viewed as ‘great’ men or used to achieve any purpose beneficial to society as a whole. To those who would consider themselves in that category, I will offer some startling examples of how You have done exactly that in the past.

Moses was a murderer, yet he led the Israelites out of Egypt. Why did You use him? Because You are God and You saw what others could not see.

King David coveted another’s wife and orchestrated the death of her husband so he could claim her as his own, yet You used him to become the greatest king the Israelites ever knew. He also taught the world how to rely upon You and praise You through the many Psalms he authored, and Jesus Christ was born of a woman married to a man who was a direct descendant of his. Why did You use this once greatly flawed man? Because You are God and You saw what others could not see.

You did the same thing with Jacob, who was a deceiver; Rahab, who was a prostitute; Paul, who persecuted Christians; and Matthew, who was a corrupt tax collector. These flawed individuals, and many more throughout history, have been used by You for great purposes because You are God and You saw what others could not see.

The world is missing out if it discounts Your ability to help once-broken men and women rise above their brokenness and emerge prepared to offer great things to the world. Richard Roy is a superb example of the work You can do in a person’s heart. His family and friends are not getting back someone they should be ashamed of. He is being returned to them as a man who has been greatly blessed by You; as a man who has found favor with You; a man You intend to use in other ways now that he has done all he can do for me. Richard, I love you. Thank you for giving of yourself so generously. I know I can be quite difficult. You gave me your friendship and it is a great gift! WE DID NOT WASTE OUR MISTAKES!

We may be the Disbanded Broken Brothers, but as Your children, Lord, we are brothers all. I have seen Your power at work in the human spirit and it is awesome. I thank You, Lord, for Alan, Rob, Steve, and Richard. I am thankful BEYOND words that You have returned Richard to his family!

I requested your help and you provided it, as You always do. Thank you for the sacrifice of Your Son, Jesus Christ, who died so that men like us can find new hope, new life, and an eternity in Your presence.

AMEN

“TIME TO MOVE ON” by Richard Roy

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“My father taught me, ‘Take my words to heart. Follow my commands, and you will live.'” Proverbs 4:4

Purpose – n. Idea or aim kept before the mind as the end of effort; an end desired; a useful function; a definite intention.

Quite often we hear people say they are looking for their purpose in life. Perhaps you have sought purpose or meaning in your life. Native cultures around the world are rife with examples of rites of passage, walkabouts or “finding oneself.”

Much of our lives are consumed with self-absorbed behavior as we seek this mysterious purpose. The dead ends, frustrations and hamster wheel meaninglessness leading to unrealized potential, procrastination, psychosis, addictions or, in best case scenarios, self-righteousness and pride. In seeking our purpose we attempt to build ourselves up only to experience despair at the utter lack of meaning and then we die.

Tony Casson observed one day, during one of our innumerable laps around the asymmetrical rec yard track, “God created us because he wants to hang out with us.” Profound in its simplicity, Tony completely described our purpose: we were created to glorify God. It is in trying to assign our own meaning to existence that we go astray.

Isaiah 49:5 says, “We were formed in our mother’s womb to be submitted to God.” II Thessalonians 3:11-12 “…that the name of our Lord Jesus Christ may be glorified in you….”

For me it took the humbling experience of prison to come to the realization of the difference between purpose and use: God will use us where we are once we fulfill our purpose.

This long-winded introduction is an expression of gratitude to God. I thank him for being present in the bloody shower stall of a cheap Florida motel. There he forgave the sins of a man who finally discovered his purpose. It was not ever God’s intent for Tony to end his life. But in that act of final desperation, He got Tony’s attention, pulled him back from the grave, and is using him in mighty ways. Most of which we may never know.

Soon I leave FCI Oakdale, this is my last submission to The Oakdale Chronicles (TOC) as a prisoner and I take this opportunity to thank God for the gift of Tony Casson. Through his friendship I step out of these prison walls confident that God uses, and will continue to use, me too.

Christian singer Kerrie Roberts, in the song “In Your Sight,” sings, “I wish I could have the wisdom of a broken heart without all the pain.” These lyrics sum up a familiar sentiment for me. Through my own painful experience God has crushed my prideful spirit and made me a man. I will forever carry the stigma of the sinner I was. Like Paul’s thorn and Jacob’s limp, it will serve as a reminder of how far God has brought me. I am wiser now, painfully so, and eternally grateful for the opportunity to return to a supportive family. To these wonderful people I am a better husband, father, brother and son. To my friends, I thank you for the phone calls, cards and letters. You have taught me powerful lessons in forgiveness.

To the readers of TOC, thank you for your support of possibly the closest friend (outside of my wife!) I’ve ever had. I encourage you to visit TOC often, make comments to what you read (Tony beams when people leave comments to articles), and offer contributions of your own. Tony welcomes those with stories to share. No whiners allowed.

To Tony, God Bless You. You’ve tolerated my sarcasm, contrary viewpoints, ups and downs. We’ve celebrated and cried together and once I made you so mad that … well, it’s behind us now. You are a fantastic man deserving of many blessings. I pray for your success with C.A.N. and the Significant Seven (I leave the explanations to Tony). Godspeed my friend. Thank you for allowing yourself to be used of God.

“THE ‘SOMETHING’ I DIDN’T DO” by Tony Casson

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“So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making His appeal through us.
We speak for Christ when we plead, ‘Come back to God!'”
2 Corinthians 5:20 NLT

“I am only one. But still, I am one. I cannot do everything. But still, I can
do something. I will not refuse to do the something I CAN do!” Helen Keller

I have used the words of Helen Keller a couple of times during the last few years in these Chronicles and in “TODAY IS….A Gift From God”. I do not believe that the words are simply words that look good on paper. I believe they provide a good reminder of what our obligation is to those around us, and to ourselves. They are a profound statement of how we should live our lives. Contained within those few, well-used words are instructions on how to help ourselves, for it is only by helping others that we can accomplish that. Found therein as well is encouragement that little things can make big differences and it is a reminder to never refuse to do the little things we are capable of doing. We are all more powerful than we think. We can all do SOMETHING.

I thought my relationship with God, which grows stronger each day, would help me to always DO the ‘something’ that I could do. I suffer no delusions of grandeur that include the notion these “Chronicles” have a wide-ranging audience and wield enormous influence that contributes mightily toward the betterment of the world in which we live. At the same time, I am aware that at least some of the words printed here over the last 3 1/2 years have done something positive; have changed the way some people think; have helped someone in some small way. I always remembered the story of the little girl throwing the starfish back into the sea, saving them, one by one. She couldn’t save them all, but she saved the ones she could. She did SOMETHING.

Unfortunately, I recently failed to do the ‘something’ I could do to reach out to another human being, and now that ‘something’ cannot be done as originally intended, because the individual in question committed suicide. While I certainly did not cause him to do what he did, I failed to do ‘something’ that possibly could have made a difference. It would be argued by some that the chances of my ‘something’ changing the outcome were slim, but when we do nothing, there is NO chance of change or affecting the outcome of ANY situation.

Ryan Loskarn was a long-time, dedicated employee for a well-known United States Senator. In fact, Ryan was Senator Lamar Alexander’s chief-of-staff when he was arrested in December for possession and distribution of child pornography. Of course, he was fired immediately upon being arrested and it is a relative certainty many of the people in Ryan’s address book quickly put as much distance as possible between themselves and Ryan. Ryan had been staying with his parents in Maryland awaiting resolution of his case when he apparently decided that taking his own life was the best way to resolve his situation.

The ‘something’ I was going to do was post an article here titled “FALLEN” which contained open letters for both Senator Alexander and for Ryan. Most of what was going to be printed had been written. All that needed was for things to be ‘tidied up’ and for it to be typed and posted. I dragged my feet. I felt there was time. I was involved in other things. I was focused on me. The lesson of doing the one thing I COULD do was temporarily lost or forgotten.

I feel as if I have let Ryan down and, in turn, his family. As one who was very nearly successful in taking his own life, I ask the public to try to understand his pain, and to join me in prayer for Ryan and his family. I would also ask everyone to read carefully all that follows. Perhaps the words intended for Ryan can reach someone else, and perhaps those intended for Senator Alexander can help to prevent anyone else from getting into a situation where they feel Ryan’s solution is the only one open to them.

I am sorry, Ryan. May God have mercy on your soul and may He watch over your family as they struggle to make sense of something that is senseless in so very many ways.

Here, then, is the ‘something’ I could have done. May God help me to never fail to do it again, and may He help another individual in need of these words find them. In finding them, may they make a difference, even if it is a very small one:

“FALLEN” by Tony Casson

“For everything that is hidden will eventually be brought into the open,
and every secret will be brought to light.”  (Mark 4:22 NLT)

“Fallen, fallen, fallen, fallen,

Fallen from his high estate,

And welt’ring in his blood;

Deserted, at his utmost need

By those his former bounty fed,

On the bare earth expos’d he lies,

With not a friend to close his eyes.”

John Dryden  “Alexander’s Feast”

As I move through my day-to-day existence in prison, everywhere I look my eyes gaze upon men who have fallen. The greatest in number probably did not have very far to fall, but have fallen nonetheless. Others have tumbled from slightly loftier positions in life while still others have fallen from great heights.

All the men around me, as evidenced by their presence with me here in Oakdale FCI, have all been convicted of, or plead guilty to, their crimes. This is not the case regarding the subject of this article. This particular individual has only been arrested to this point, but he has already fallen a great distance.

His name is Ryan Loskarn, and until recently Ryan was the chief-of-staff for United States Senator Lamar Alexander of Tennessee. At his home in Washington, D.C. early in December, Ryan began his fall when he was arrested for possession and distribution of child pornography.

Unfortunately, and much to the shame of this great nation, this is not an isolated or unusual event. Men and women across the United States are arrested daily in ever-increasing numbers for similar crimes involving internet child pornography. Another arrest is, sadly, unnecessarily routine in this country today.

However, given the high profile person for whom Ryan worked, his arrest naturally garnered national attention. My friend Richard Roy and I discussed the significance of this particular arrest during one of our daily ‘world-problem-solving-walks’ around the track that encompasses the recreation yard. During the course of that conversation, I made a comment which sparked something in Richard who then said something that sparked something in me.

With all of those sparks flying, it was inevitable that we would start a fire. That fire is presented here in the form of two ‘open letters’. The first one is intended for Senator Alexander and was written by Richard. The second was written for Ryan Loskarn and was penned by yours truly.

Our intent in writing each of them, as is the case in all we do, is to try to change the destructive course America is on and to find better ways of protecting America, America’s citizens and – of paramount importance – America’s children.

“AN OPEN LETTER TO SENATOR LAMAR ALEXANDER”
by Richard Roy

Dear Senator Alexander,

Reading an article in “The Houston Chronicle” concerning the recent arrest of Ryan Loskarn, your Chief Of Staff, for possession and distribution of child pornography, I came across a quote attributed to you which said, in part, that you were ‘stunned, surprised, and disappointed” when you were informed.

Frankly, Senator Alexander, I find the use of those terms to be quite disingenuous in light of the fact you are such a prominent figure in our nation’s capitol. Certainly it has not escaped your attention that the halls of Congress are a place where immorality, indecency, sex, greed, corruption and excess proliferate unabated. You, of all people, should never be stunned – or even surprised – when, in such an atmosphere, those around you succumb to the siren song of sin. Even men steeped in the Word of God – Jimmy Swaggert, Ted Haggard, to name just a couple – have demonstrated the fallibility of men. We are all, simply human – even men of God, as well as those who are public figures.

While you most likely expected Mr. Loskarn to be above reproach in his behavior, to say that you are ‘stunned’, or ‘surprised’ is to place anyone, including yourself, above the capacity to fail. ‘Disappointed’ is an appropriate and perfectly acceptable descriptive phrase to use, but that disappointment should not create the need to distance yourself from him. This need is a perfect example of where this country, and the men and women who lead it, demonstrate a definite lack of character. Our need to disassociate ourselves when someone we are close to in a personal or professional relationship exhibits less-than-desirable behavior portrays a less-than-desirable understanding of what Jesus Christ said when he instructed us to love one another. He most assuredly did NOT mean to love them only when it is comfortable, convenient, and politically advantageous to do so.

Mr. Loskarn would undoubtedly not have held the position he did with you unless his abilities, talents, and personality added value to YOUR ability to serve your country. What is different about this man today than yesterday? What has changed? Did the organizational skills that are required of someone in that demanding position suddenly vaporize? Are his personality and confident manner no longer of consequence? The day before he was arrested, would you have stood up with Ryan, put your arm around him and stated publicly that you were proud to know him? Do you think he is really a different person than the one you thought you knew? Have you asked him if this is so?

Right now, Mr. Loskarn needs the public support of those in his familial, social, and professional networks. Instead of distancing yourself from the situation, close ranks around him, encourage him, hold him up, and let him know that he is not facing this ordeal alone. Ryan possesses the same qualities that endeared him to all who knew him prior to his arrest. The only difference is you are now aware of his fallibility – his humanity. Ryan Loskarn has a flaw. This should NOT come as a surprise.

Perhaps it is the nature of Ryan’s flaw. Possibly you find it to be particularly offensive, and that certainly would be understandable. Without question, it is a SERIOUS flaw. That it is morally repugnant cannot be denied. The charges against Ryan make decent men and women uncomfortable in the extreme.

All of that notwithstanding, it must also be emphatically stated that the crack in Ryan’s character is something that can be repaired, despite what an emotionally-incensed American public has been led to believe.

In fact, the fall from grace of a heretofore dedicated and loyal long-term employee of a well-respected public servant with a long history of service to this country presents us with a unique opportunity. Quite possibly, the closeness of the situation to an individual such as yourself who is at the very center of this nation’s ruling body can cause a closer look to be taken at the entirety of internet child pornography, the havoc it is creating, and the destruction it is leaving in its wake. This destruction encompasses not only those who have violated the very basic tenets of human decency, but includes innocent victims such as the families of these individuals. The ensuing requirement to register as sex offenders further hobbles the return to any semblance of ‘normalcy’ for these individuals and their families and is a part of the overall problem that needs to be addressed in ways that are more constructive and effective than simply passing stricter laws with increased punishments and doing it all under the pathetically self-serving political banner of ‘protecting the children’. Protect the children we MUST, but the time has come to face the fact that the current approach does not accomplish that at all. In fact, this government’s refusal to NOT take the simple steps that are immediately available to it to severely slow the proliferation of these vile images on the Internet actually CONTRIBUTES to the further victimization of those already severely damaged by those who committed the abuse portrayed in the images themselves.

(Editor’s Note: In the pages of these Chronicles over the years, several articles have been published outlining steps that can be taken with very little effort or expense that would positively contribute to achieving that end. Articles such as: “A Necessary Intrusion – Part 4” (7/31/12); “A Child Protection Act That Doesn’t” (8/29/12); “Unnecessary Harm And Confusion – Fast And Furious, The Sequel” (10/5/12); “A Call To Action – A Demand For An Explanation” (3/1/13); “In Knowledge Lies Potential For Change” (5/15/13; “Warning Labels” (6/21/13) In your position Senator, there is MUCH that you can do!)

As for your disgraced former chief-of-staff; Mr. Loskarn will never be the same. Whether this is for the better depends in large part on the strength of those around him and the support he receives. It is possible – desirable, even – to hate the sin and still show love, compassion and hope to the sinner. The most effective demonstration of this principle must be public, not private. Jesus’ public ministry was to the sick, weak, outcast, and those tangled in sexual promiscuity and perversion. He transformed many such lives. You have an opportunity to take Emerson’s ‘road less traveled’ in supporting Ryan publically; promising support and encouragement if he is willing to admit he has a problem that needs to be dealt with; and publicly acknowledging that change IS possible. No one is more miserable or more critical of Ryan Loskarn at this moment than Ryan Loskarn himself. He needs no help putting himself down. He is deserving of your help to lift him up and demonstrate the ability of human beings to correct their mistakes, even the immoral ones. To do less is to state simply that people are incapable of redemption and restoration and if that is the case, then those of you who sit in the center of power might simply say, “When you make a mistake, you go to prison for life.” That, sir, would be ridiculous in the extreme, and totally contrary to the reality which comprises human nature. People can, and do, change. They need help to accomplish that, and Ryan needs YOUR help. So does this country, Senator.

Respectfully,
Richard Roy

“A Postscript To Senator Lamar Alexander’s Letter”
by Tony Casson

Senator Alexander,

As you are well aware, this letter is too late to do Ryan Loskarn any good, and that is my fault. Richard did his part in the days immediately following Ryan’s arrest by writing the letter and getting it to me. I dragged my feet doing my part, so it is too late for anyone to rally around Ryan, but it is not too late for you to look into the articles that have been posted here which contain positive, practical, and promising suggestions to address this plague upon our country in ways that might prevent more lost souls, such as Ryan, from ending what could be productive lives. In many cases, we are not dealing with career criminal types, or everybody’s definition of a ‘monster’. In many, many instances we are simply locking up misguided, confused, often socially inept individuals who possibly could have been prevented from straying from the path of behavior that, if not moral, was at least legal. In the process, much of the damage caused to an often unsuspecting world from images that have captured the sexual abuse of children might be prevented. Surely this would be preferred over allowing this material to infest our country’s homes in the hopes of catching people doing something that will destroy their lives, their families, and, in some very sad and unnecessary cases, cost some individuals their lives.

Ryan eliminated the need for you to stand up and support him publicly, as you should have. However, his tragic and senseless death does not eliminate the need for you to stand up and protect this country. It fact, his death CRIES for you to do just that!

Sincerely,
Tony Casson

Following is the letter that was intended for Ryan. Perhaps it contains some words that can still do someone, somewhere, some good. Perhaps what was intended for his heart can find its way into someone else’s:

“An Open Letter To Ryan Loskarn” by Tony Casson

Dear Ryan,

My name is Tony Casson. We do not know each other, nor is it likely that we will ever physically meet. Despite that relative certainty, I would like to try to help you.

At this moment in time, your life is undoubtedly feeling rather surreal. More than likely you are numb with the shock and the shame that I have come to learn – as have tens of thousands of others – quite naturally accompanies the discovery of secrets that somehow did not seem anywhere near as deplorable while still veiled with the cover of darkness as they do now the veil has been lifted and the light of decency is shining upon them. Such is the nature of secrets.

With the light now shining brightly on YOUR secrets, Ryan, you are quite probably filled with trepidation at what the future holds for you. The public veneer which you carefully crafted over the years, and has obviously served you well – at least in the framework of how you lived your PUBLIC life – has developed a ‘crack’ in it that may, at least for the moment, appear to be irreparable and about to deliver catastrophic consequences.

It is true that this ‘crack’ is not merely a minor surface imperfection, like a scratch marring an automobile’s paint job which can be rubbed out, smoothed over, and restored to its original appearance. This imperfection, this flaw, has its origins well below the surface and has just now risen to where it is visible and on display for the world to see. It is evidence of an underlying situation or condition that cries out to be addressed. The ‘crack’ does not, in and of itself, carry with it consequences that cannot be overcome, but they cannot be avoided and they MUST be faced.

Ryan, I encourage you to take comfort when I tell you this can all be dealt with to a positive outcome. Let there be no mistake, though: You will NOT be restored to the same “Ryan” you were before, but you CAN quickly learn the “Ryan” you have been is not the “Ryan” God intended you to be when you were born. Dealing with all of this will not be easy. In fact, it will require a lot of support from family and friends, and it will require you to lean heavily upon God.

I encounter men on a daily basis whom I believe are decent at the core but, like me, allowed themselves to be seduced by evil and found themselves consumed with behavior that shocked and repulsed them, as well as their friends and family, when that behavior was finally forced into the light.

There is a rule that must be adopted by individuals who find themselves in this situation, Ryan: DON’T WASTE YOUR MISTAKES. Of the men I encounter in prison, so many lament their situation and spend their days pointing the finger of blame everywhere but at themselves. Turning this ‘curse’ into a blessing is something far too few men I meet choose to do. It is easier to harbor resentment for being in prison than it is to address WHY we are here, HOW we can fix it, and WHAT we will do to make positive use of a very negative experience.

Prison is most likely in your future, but prison certainly does not have to BE your future. When you make a conscious and determined decision to walk through those gates with God, you have immediately begun to prepare yourself for the day when you will walk back out those same gates with your head held high. You will not be proud of what you have done, but you will be proud of the person God has helped you to become.

In no way am I saying that life will be easy while you are in prison, or after you are released, but with God always at the center of your thoughts, you will face both with the confidence that comes from God’s assurance that He will be with you each and every step of the way.

How do I know this? Because I hated the person I had allowed myself to become, Ryan. I hated that person so much I made a violent attempt on my own life when the FBI came to arrest me. God saved me from dying that day because I cried out to Him for help when there was very little time left, and He stepped in and caused me to be saved. Since that day, I have looked to Him for strength to guide me through the entire pretrial, sentencing, and surrendering process; He was with me when I walked onto the compound; and He has been with me daily to light the way and help me to understand who I am and why I am here. I am utterly amazed at the person I have become over the last 4 years, and I am prepared for life – and eager to be an active participant in it – in a way I have never been. I have been a willing student, but all of the credit; all of the glory, goes to God. Proverbs 21:31 says, “We are the horses, prepared for battle, but the victory belongs to the Lord!”

I am prepared for whatever I may face when I walk out those doors because I know that God will settle for nothing short of victory for me, Ryan, and I want this for you. Why? Because I know GOD does, and I know He is waiting to help you. All you have to do is ask Him, and be willing to hand over all of your burdens to Him.

I pray for the very best for you and your family, Ryan. God has a plan for you. Let Him reveal it to you.

With my fervent prayers for YOUR future and YOUR hope,
Tony Casson

“An Afterword”

It is impossible to describe the way I felt as I finished typing the words I WANTED Ryan to read. Another young man is dead. Ryan is far from the first to have ended their life needlessly after their secrets have come to light. Sadly, in this Godless, intolerant, judgmental and hypocritical society of ours, I am certain there were people who applauded his death; people who celebrated his decision to end his life; people who wish more of those of us who have fallen would follow suit.

It is my hope that God will find a way to take these words intended for Ryan and bring them to the attention of someone else who is in need of reading them. The message is the same for anyone who finds themselves seduced by evil and is now going through court proceedings and facing prison or jail time as a result of their inability to resist the ‘siren song of sin’, as Richard Roy so aptly put it.

God CAN help us even when we think we are beyond help. These are not just idle words. This is the Truth as God has said it, and as He has proven it through His restoration and renewal of this man typing these words. Ask Him to help YOU.

DON’T WASTE YOUR MISTAKES!

And please, do NOT waste another life.

Thank you all for your time, and may God bless you all.

BIGGER THAN ME by Richard Roy

On By Tony CassonIn Inmates - In Their Own Words, Richard's Corner - Posting by Richard RoyLeave a comment

Prison is an incredibly negative environment that perpetuates hatred, segregation and all manner of evil.  It is a personal goal of mine to engage this mindset in combat at every opportunity.  Only time and others can judge my success.

I gave this speech for my benefit in completing another goal as a Toastmaster while using it to recruit others to my case.  I hope it inspires you as well.

Bigger than me

By Richard Roy

Introduction

A grandfather and grandchild were walking the beach at low tide.  Stranded starfish lay along the shore, dying in the morning sun as far as the eye could see.  The little girl ran from one to another, stopping just long enough to stoop, pick it up and fling the starfish into the surf.  The grandfather asked, “Child, what are you doing?”  “I’m saving the pretty starfish gramps.”  “You can’t possibly save them all,” he pointed out.  Stooping to pick up another, she pitched it to the sea before replying, “No, but I made a difference to that one.”

Today is the day for an uprising, a revolt, the day to buck the system, today we change the very fabric of the culture of FCI Oakdale.  From this day forward, those who wish to espouse a doctrine of hate are no longer acceptable.  Today we make a difference.

Man is not inherently good.

This statement is contrary to what we want to believe.  We are told by media, ministers, motivational speakers and mama that deep inside each of us we want to the right thing.  This concept is so ingrained into our society that we assume it is common knowledge.  So why are our prisons full and growing daily?  If humans are inherently good, why we are so surprised, inspired even, by such a basic idea as Oprah Winfrey’s “random acts of kindness?”

I submit as evidence of man’s base instinct – the man sitting next to you.  That man, when left to his own devices, took the low road.  When he was unsupervised his mind wandered.  When darkness fell, he used it to his advantage.  When technology advanced, he perverted it.  When others craved to feed an addiction, he filled it.

But, you may say, these are learned behaviors.  Really?  Who taught the toddler to say, “I dunno,” when mom asks, “who broke the vase?”  How does the youngest of our offspring know to assign blame to anyone other than himself when confronted with overwhelming evidence to the contrary?  Why is bullying rampant in our schools?

Think Bigger Than Yourself

With all this self-centeredness built into our nature, we must work at thinking bigger than ourselves.  Most parents are able to encompass their children in their circle of caring without too much effort.  Beyond that, though, requires work.

Deep thinkers have recognized the need for “looking out” for thousands of years.  But the concept often makes us uncomfortable.  Take, for instance, the “Golden Rule:” Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  In the seventies we saw the bumper sticker:  Do unto others, then split.  Another cynical aspect is:  He who has the Gold, Rules.

The following, philosophies embrace the golden rule.

Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Paul the apostle wrote, “And do not forget to do good and share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.”

Sacrifice?  Doing good is so hard for humans that the most prolific writer in the New Testament calls it a sacrifice?  And don’t forget?  We have to tie a string around our finger just to remember to do something good for someone else?

In Buddhism, the Law of Karma states, “If you do good, good will return to you.”

The prophet Mohammad taught, “What I want for myself is what I want for my brother.”

The Roman statesman Seneca said, “This is the law of benefits between men; the one ought to forget at once what he has given, and the other ought never to forget what he has received.

These great thinkers believe it a basic necessity of life to think bigger than ourselves.  To do any less, mankind threatens to hate itself out of existence.

The second law of thermodynamics states that order slides into disorder.  The human equivalent is a teenager’s bedroom.  The parent picks things up, washes clothes, organizes the closet and makes the bed.  Within moments of the teen entering this ordered space, chaos descends.  It is only with the application of energy – parent, teen, maid – that order is reestablished.

In our personal lives, the application of energy is required to restore harmony between people.

Accept responsibility for your own life

In the book Good to Great the author interviews the owner of a highly successful manufacturing company.  The author wants to know what sets this operation apart from the competition.  The owner points to the wall overlooking the manufacturing floor.

“See that glass in the wall?  When things are good:  Profits up, expenses down, quality exceptional, that glass is a window.  The credit belongs to the people doing the work.  I never forget they are the reason for our success.”

“But when a glitch occurs, that glass becomes a mirror.  The problems belong to me.  But guess where the solution lies – out there.  The solution to the problem is in the hands of those who know the process best.  It becomes my responsibility to draw the answer out; encourage input and provide resources to effect change.”

You are the CEO of your life.  You own the outcome of your actions.  Give credit for your successes to those who deserve it.  You know how to read?  Thank a teacher.  You’ve written a stellar business plan?  Thank Mr. Edwards.  But when life happens and you find yourself in prison – look in the mirror, then give yourself the resources to change.  Your best resource is your attitude.

I don’t have the courage

We all fear rejection.  Humans are social animals.  As such, we desire the company and approval of fellow humans.  Many of my decisions in life were rooted in the desire to please others:  Spouse, children, bosses, co-workers, subordinates and even total strangers.

The perception of peer pressure is a powerful force.  Humans will fall in line, often against our will, because we perceive compliance is what our peers demand.  But what if those around you are simply waiting for you to take the first step.

The reality of our situation is we are in a physical prison.  Our bodies are incarcerated in an extremely negative environment.  Many around us feel the need to enforce compliance to their negative world view.  I’m going to let you in on a secret:  They’re scared.

C.S. Lewis wrote, “Hatred is often the compensation by which a frightened man reimburses himself for the miseries of fear.  The more he fears, the more he will hate.  And hatred is also a great anodyne for shame.”

Now is the time to start a revolution!  A revolution against hate and fear.  A revolution of courage against peer pressure.

I started attending Miracle Place Church after I was arrested.  Like many of you, I sought answers to why I made the decisions I did.  At one week night service I arrived early to pray.  Alone, in my corner at the back, I silently pleaded for a sign that my prayers were heard.

“God you know I don’t take hints very well.  So please don’t ‘suggest’ my family and I will be okay; Let me know for certain that you have heard my prayers.”

A frail 84 year old woman named Ms. Dorothy knelt at my feet as I sat in my chair at the end of the service.  She put her hands on either side of my head, pulling me forward until our foreheads were touching.  In a firm voice she said, “I don’t know what this means but God says he heard you the first time.

Courage to break the norm.  Courage to take the first step.  Courage to approach a stranger to deliver a message of encouragement.  Do you have the courage of an 80 year old woman?  Need more encouragement?  Let’s look at the health benefits of social contact.

The Donner party is a group of men, women and children, some married, some single, some family, some strangers just along for the ride.  In the early 1840’s they became stuck in the Mountains due to early snow storms and bad advice.  By the time members of the party managed to reach help, more than half the party had died.  The survivors had resorted to cannibalism.

Critical analysis of this tragedy reveals the following from the book “The Indifferent Stars Above.”

“Male or female, those who traveled with a large family group had a better chance of survival than those who were on their own.  This is in keeping with other studies correlating survival with the size of social networks.  Scientists are not sure why this effect takes place.  Theories point to better sharing of critical information and scarce resources, better mutual aid in emergencies, better emotional support, and the possibility that the immune system is physically stimulated by close proximity to loved ones.”

Imagine that, being surrounded by people who like you increases your own chance of surviving hardships.  If you are too timid to reach out to another person for their benefit then do it for yourself.  Build your base of friends, your social network, to improve the quality of your own life and advance your own longevity.

Want more health benefits?

Doctor Caroline Leaf states in her book “The gift in you:”

“There is a massive ‘unlearning’ of negative toxic thoughts when we operate in love.  The brain releases a chemical called oxytocin, which literally melts away the negative toxic thought clusters.  So that rewiring of new non-toxic circuits can happen.  This chemical also flows when we trust and bond and reach out to others.  Love literally wipes out fear.”

“Dopamine works with oxytocin.  It flows as we expect and anticipate something.  It gives us a thrilling surge of energy and excitement and confidence and motivation to carry on.  Then when we experience what we anticipate, endorphins and serotonin are released that make us feel great.”

Dare to be different

Whom do you admire?  Michael Jordan of sports?  Jack Welch of business?  Steve Jobs of technology?  Warren Buffet of investors?  Dr. King of civil rights?  Gandhi of social change?  Why?  Because they dare to be different.

Gandhi once said, “You must be the change you are trying to create.”  You must dare to be different.

It is not enough for us to talk about the ignorance of prison mentality.  To change prison thinking we must live the change.  Each of the leaders I mentioned weren’t elected to their role.  They dared to be different in their respective fields.  They saw a better way and made the change.  They led the way out of the trap of “group think.”

I once had a battalion commander shut the door to my office and plop down in front of my desk. “Roy,” he started, “when you look at 2nd Battalion, they are always at the top; physical fitness, marksmanship, unit readiness reports, always number one.  Others are always shooting at them, trying to tear them down off the pedestal.  On the other hand, if you are always at the bottom then people look down at you and wonder why you’re so messed up.  I think it’s important that we aim for the middle.  Not the top, not the bottom, but in the middle where we don’t draw any attention.  Understand?  I’m glad we could have this talk.”

He walked out of my office leaving me to meditate on the mysteries of mediocrity.  I got his message.  I had pushed my soldiers hard to be the best.  I wasn’t satisfied with sloppy seconds.  I wanted to be first.  His philosophy was to aim for mediocrity.  Once you fight your way to the top its hard work to stay there.  He did not have the will to be different.

There is a fable of a weary traveler that wandered into a village one evening.  There in the center of the village was a pit filled with warm sewage.  Thirty or forty people were in the pit with the filth up to their chins.

Unable to believe his eyes, the traveler got too close to the edge and fell in.  Immediately he clawed at the sides of the pit doing everything he could to get out.  The nearest villager shouted, “Calm down, you’re making waves.”

Is that where you are today?  Happy in your warm pit of filth as long as nobody makes waves.  Or do you have the large pair of solid brass orbs necessary to be different.

Don’t wait for the wizard

In the movie “The Wizard of Oz,” each member of the traveling party had something they desired:  The cowardly lion – courage, the Tin man – a heart, the Scarecrow – a brain.  Dorothy just wanted to go home.

In the end, each member of the Oz party discovered they already possessed the desires of their heart.  All they needed to do was exercise it.  The Lion didn’t need the wizard for his courage.  It was in him the whole time.  Likewise, each of you possesses the ability to influence the life of another person on this compound.  Don’t wait for the Wizard; make a difference today.

Like Dorothy, we all desire to go home.  The men in this room have already taken positive steps to make that transition a success.  When I leave these meetings I feel good about our futures.  I know I’ll take a lot of lessons learned with me, as will you.

However, what we take with us is not nearly as important as what we leave behind.  Will this compound be a better place for you having been here?  Or will you have made no difference at all.  Like a canoe slipping across a still pond in the early grey fog before sunrise:  minutes after you’re gone there is no memory of your presence.

So set goals to make a difference.  Like the little girl and the starfish, maybe you can’t make a difference in everyone’s life, you can make a difference to one.

When you walk into a restaurant you don’t say, “bring me some food.”  Instead, you are very specific – you pick exactly what you want from the menu.

Right now I want you to set a goal to do one act of kindness before you get back to the unit.  Introduce yourself to someone and make a concerted effort to remember their name.  Then call them by name when you see them around the compound.  Hold the door open for someone and let them go ahead of you. Give a legitimate complement to someone you don’t ordinarily speak to.  Now set a goal for everyday this week.  Every day, make the effort to be a difference maker in someone’s life.

Researchers from the University of British Columbia and the University of California – Riverside recently completed a study called “Kindness counts.”  One of the things the study showed was that participants experienced significantly increased feelings of happiness and satisfaction after one month of documenting three acts of kindness per week.

But when compared to a control group, who documented three pleasant places they visited per week, those who performed and documented their acts of kindness were liked and accepted to a greater degree by their peers.  On average, they gained 1.5 friends during the four week period.

Dale Carnegie is quoted as saying, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming really interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

Need Help?  Try one of these

–          Write a friend to say that a song or movie reminded you of them.

–          Shut up and listen

–          Help carry the trash out

–          Give someone a book that had meaning to you

–          Tell someone about the qualities you admire in them

–          Introduce someone to another of your friends

–          Hold the door open

–          Write a letter to someone you admire telling them how they touched your life

–          Let someone go ahead of you in line

–          Clean out your locker, give unused stuff to someone else

–          Smile, make conversation

Conclusion

I noticed a relatively new guy to our unit had not quite integrated after a couple weeks.  He sat by himself, rarely conversing with those around him.  I was even witness to a tense exchange of words between him and the medical staff.

I used the incident as an opportunity to start a conversation with him.  We walked to dinner together, ate together, and walked back together.  At my cell we parted ways.  I observed him make it about halfway through the unit, turnaround and walk back to where I was standing.

He stuck out a hand the size of a Virginia ham.  As I attempted to shake it he said, “Thank you for having dinner with me.”

I looked into his eyes well over a foot above my head and could see a difference had been made in the life of one starfish.

Make today the turning point; the riot of 2013.  The day the BOP will come to recognize inmates instituted positive as the norm, rejecting negativity as acceptable.

I finish with a quote from Dr. Seuss:

You have brains in your head and feet in your shoes

You can steer yourself any direction you choose.

You’re on your own and know what you know

And you are the one who’ll decide where to go.

 

“WITH EYES WIDE OPEN” by Tony Casson

On By Tony CassonIn EYES WIDE OPENLeave a comment

“Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there.” Galatians  5:34  NLT

“We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.”  Hebrews  12:2  NLT

“And this is freedom, this is freedom; This is freedom nailed to a tree.”                                Karyn Williams – “This Is Freedom”

Towards the end of her long life, the list of my Mother’s physical afflictions and limitations had grown quite long as well. She had a degenerative bone disease called “Paget’s”; a ‘spinal stenosis’ which plagued her with debilitating back pain for years; greatly diminished hearing; and an advanced case of Macular Degeneration which ultimately left her legally blind.

Those afflictions which greatly affected the quality of her physical existence were, nonetheless, no match for her indomitable spirit. Her ability – indeed, her NEED – to smile never waned and never wavered. She seemed to have the power to see through things that were negative about people around her and allowed her to see, and to focus, on the good that she believed resides in us all.

It puzzled me that she could find so much worth smiling about in a life fraught not only with the pain of her physical maladies, but also the internal pain that came from her knowledge that each of her children suffered in his, or her, own way.  She accepted the fact that there wasn’t much she could do most of the time, except offer her prayers to God. This is not to say that prayer is an insignificant thing, because it most assuredly is NOT, but it is simply a fact that, as parents, we feel the need to do something tangible, and something immediate, when our children are hurting.

Nonetheless, my Mother was teaching me something important through all of those years, but the lessons would not finally develop clarity for me until I discovered for myself exactly where her ability to ‘see’ things, the way she did, came from.

You see, my Mother’s relationship with God gave her the ability to see things through the ‘eyes’ of her heart. This concept, and this ability, would elude me for years. In fact, it would be sometime after her death, and would require a suicide attempt that was very nearly successful, and a trip to federal prison before I, too, became able to ‘see’ things the way that beautiful, blind woman could.

To that point, I had endured a lifetime of pain and suffering, and had inflicted much pain and suffering upon those around me, the least of whom was the one who gave me life. But my Mother always smiled for me, and she always saw what I failed to see for many years. Finally, a few years after her smile was just an important fond memory, I arrived at a place where I could begin to understand my Mother’s lessons. A place where I could begin to realize my own ability to smile, and to see the good in those around me and, more importantly, I could see the good in myself.

I can clearly recall the exact moment when I felt the first faint stirrings within me indicating that something was changing inside of me. It was shortly after arriving at Oakdale to begin my sentence and I had gone outside to walk around the concrete ‘track’ that comprised the outer boundary of the inmate-accessible portion of the recreation yard.

The track itself is a 1/3 mile loop of sorts; not an oval or a circle or any other recognizable geometric shape, but it does begin and end in the same place. The first segment is a straightaway about 450′ long that heads due east. The track then turns to the north in a long, sweeping curve. At this point, the ‘only’ barrier to freedom is the set of two very tall chain link fences along the outer perimeter that are topped with some decidedly unfriendly looking razor wire, although the razor wire does sparkle brilliantly in the bright Louisiana sunshine or under the powerful lights that illuminate the grounds at nightfall.

As I rounded that first curve on the track, I glanced up over the fence ahead of me and to the right. A few hundred feet away, and outside the fence, there are some warehouses, maintenance facilities and large outdoor refrigeration and freezer storage units that service the compound. My eyes were immediately drawn to what I saw rising above the fence from the middle of those buildings. I could see, silhouetted against the sky, the top portion of an old wooden power pole. My immediate thought was, “That looks just like a cross.” I smiled to myself as I rolled the thought around in my head that it would be rather special to know that from that day forward, for the duration of my stay at Oakdale, each time I came outside to walk I would be able to look up and be reminded of Jesus Christ. The comfort of that reminder of His presence was something I grasped onto hungrily, and eagerly. It was also something I would quickly grow to look forward to seeing each time I ventured out to ‘the yard’ to walk.

I felt a stirring within me and I knew that something significant had begun. I would come to learn that God had chosen that moment to allow the ‘eyes’ of MY heart to begin to open.

As I continued walking along the track, my ‘cross’ loomed a little larger at first, but as the perspective changed and I drew closer, it seemed to drop lower until it ‘disappeared’ below the top of the fence. I found joy in my new discovery and felt a strange warmth spread through me. Little did I know at that point, that what I had experienced was just the beginning of a ‘vision’ that would become complete a few days later while I was enjoying another walk.

On that particular day, as I passed the point where the ‘cross’ dropped out of sight, I kept looking at the spot where the power pole itself was located on the other side of the fence. After walking about 50 feet, a picture began to reveal itself to me, clearer with each additional step. When I reached a point that was directly south of the object of my interest, I stopped on the side of the track and stared at the completed picture. What I was looking at was not ONE ‘cross’, but THREE crosses. The power pole that had drawn my attention originally was flanked on either side by another, shorter power pole. From this vantage point, I could see through the fence and, with the eyes of my heart opening wider still, I realized that what I was looking at were the crosses upon which Christ, and the two men who were crucified with him, died.

OK…I knew that these were not THOSE crosses, but the vision I was looking at appeared the same as what I had seen in illustrations and it seemed as if I had stumbled upon my own, private “Golgotha”. I am fairly certain that most of the men looking through those two chain link fences would only see three older, wooden power poles with wires and transformers on them that serviced a bunch of metal buildings and outdoor refrigerators and freezers, but I saw something else entirely.

With the newly opened eyes of my heart, the fences became transparent and the transformers and power lines disappeared. What I DID see was Jesus Christ hanging from the center cross looking down at me. What I DID see was a man taking the burden of my sins, and the sins of every other person in the world, and replacing that burden with freedom.

With the eyes of my heart, I could see what had been missing in my life. I could see forgiveness for what I had done wrong and I could see what I needed to do to correct those things. I could see the pain that I caused others, and I could see the pain that others caused me, and I could see the pain in the eyes of Jesus as He implored me to give all of that pain to HIM.

I could see the look of suffering on His face as He relieved me of my burden, but at the same time, I could feel His joy at the knowledge that His suffering was not in vain.

Now, with the eyes of my heart wide open, I could see the future and the hope that had been promised to ME. I could see that I was now truly free to do the RIGHT thing, for the RIGHT reason, and in the RIGHT way. I was now free to rid my heart of the darkness that had filled it so completely for so many years and replace it with the light that comes with the unshakeable faith I now had that no matter where I might walk from that day forward, I would never be alone, I did not need to be afraid, and I would never be without purpose.

I began to realize that I was no longer in prison at all. In fact, from that moment forward, I was more free than I had ever been in my life.

In a way, I had come to look upon my Mother’s physical ailments and afflictions as having created a prison of sorts for her. Suddenly, though, I was able to see just how free she had always been because the eyes of HER heart had ALWAYS been open.

Freedom can be a beautiful and inspiring thing.

It can also reduce us to tears when we think about the price that Christ Jesus paid for it. For people like myself, who had used their freedom poorly, and in a selfish, self-serving, and self-indulgent manner, the instant that the eyes of our heart open wide can be a very humbling moment of shame, embarrassment, and sadness.

Fortunately for us, God smiles and says, “It’s alright”. His ONLY concern is that we all – each and every last one of us – allow Him to come into our hearts and open our eyes. NOTHING else matters to him. Not when. Not where. Not why.

For the last three years and four months, I have been reassured and comforted, encouraged and reinforced by what I see out there almost daily. Each time I walk the track, I always say prayers of thanks to the One who suffered so horribly and painfully so long ago in order that we can ALL be free from sin and the slavery that accompanies it and chains us to our own individual versions of prison.

Over the years, I have made it a habit to share what I see with the different people I have walked with. It has always been a desire of mine to share it with those who read these Chronicles, but the description alone seemed inadequate. I felt that some sort of picture was needed to properly convey the image that I see so frequently, but actual photographs are out of the question and I am less an artist than I am even a writer, so I have NOT shared.

Until now.

My friend Richard Roy, who has been aware of how special those ‘crosses’ are to me, spoke with another inmate whose artistic talents are considerably greater than mine. His name is Will Mattingly, and Richard asked him if he would try to draw what I ‘saw’ out there on the other side of the fences.

The three of us walked one day and I shared my vision with Will, who then spent considerable time out there sitting and drawing. A few weeks later, Will passed along his finished work which I named “Through The Eyes Of The Heart”.

I can now share my personal ‘Golgotha’ with all of you, thanks to Richard’s thoughtfulness, and Will’s talent:

Through the Eyes of the Heart 2

 

No, there is not really a hole in the fence, and in reality there are TWO fences about 10 feet apart separating ‘us’ from ‘you’, but I told Will that I wanted him to convey the impression that the eyes of a person’s heart can remove obstacles that stand between us and the freedom to see what God wants us to see, and to do the things that He wants us to do.

I believe Will accomplished exactly that.

And thanks to those two good men, not only am I able to share the image with all of you, I will now have this drawing to frame and hang on my wall when I leave here to remind me of the freedom that I was given during my time of physical imprisonment. I will also be reminded of the sacrifice of Jesus and the tremendous burden that He removed from my shoulders.

God has opened wide the eyes of my heart, and He can open YOURS as well. With our eyes wide open we can see many things we could not see before: We can see hope; we can see peace, happiness, joy, love, and forgiveness; we can see the goodness that lives and breathes all around us. And with our eyes wide open we can also see the hunger, the pain, the suffering, and the desperation of other people. But these are not bad things to see, because once our eyes are open, we can also see our place in God’s plan to HELP those who are afflicted. Seeing our place will allow us to take the action necessary to improve the condition of our brothers and sisters who are all God’s children.

And THIS, my friends, is freedom.

May God bless you all, and may He open WIDE the eyes of YOUR hearts.

LOST AT SEA by Richard Roy

On By Tony CassonIn Richard's Corner - Posting by Richard Roy1 Comment

If a man had done his best, what else is there?  -General George S. Patton

Come back to the place of safety, all you prisoners who still have hope.  -Zechariah 9:12

Through the inky blackness of the night a small ship sails, tossed side-to-side, cresting and falling, wave and trough. Sailors fight to keep the ship together, lashing cargo, manning bilge pumps, sliding across worn decks slickened by the turbulent sea.

The water engulfs one sailor just as he releases his grip on the rail. His intention is to help; his action ill-advised. The wake of the ship pulls him under. He struggles against the forces of nature. The water parts above his head.  He gulps to fill his oxygen starved lungs.

The ship sails away.

The sailor, whose love has always been the sea, now finds the embrace of his lover more than he can bear. He screams to the ship for help, but the fight to save the ship and the salt water he swallowed has hoarsened his throat. The sound, had anyone been around to hear it, is terrifying. He curses, cries, pleads, screams and curses some more.

The lights of the ship, when visible, continue to dim as it moves into the distance.

The storm abates, waves calm, the eastern sky lightens, the last visible speck of the ship blips into the horizon. The sailor treads water.  He is exhausted from the fight but has established an ebbing equilibrium. It’s inevitable that he will, at some point, slip beneath the surface, nothing but a memory to those now abandoned.  For now though, he copes with what he has been given.

Your husband (son, father, friend) went through a turbulent time before coming to prison. Some break down, some express bravado, some resign themselves to fate and still others spew vitriol toward the system, family or friends. But all are souls tossed from the ship of society. Only the reaction to his plight is different.

It may be hard to know how to interact with your inmate. Human nature will not make this task any easier. You will experience phases of emotion much like the Stages of Grief: Denial, Pain and Guilt, Anger, Depression, Working Through, and Acceptance.  Understand, your inmate is feeling these same emotions. It is precisely this understanding that will carry you through.

Don’t give up. Contact with those who have meaning in his life is important beyond measure. We are exposed to others’ conversations while waiting at the phone bank  I am often dismayed by what I hear: abusive language, unreasonable demands and ultimatums from the incarcerated to the free world. I can’t imagine how it is received on the other end.

If this is something you have experienced then allow me to explain:  you are hearing the cries of the drowning man, the desperate, the powerless. These men used to earn a living.  They controlled what they ate and when. Entertainment wasn’t limited to one movie on Saturday night selected by an unknown person. Your inmate used to have choices:  freedom to work hard, earn money, pursue a dream. He also had freedom to slack off, abuse his choices and put his family through misery. Now all freedom is gone.  The choices he is allowed to make are petty. Eat, don’t eat. Work, don’t work. Exercise, don’t exercise. As far as the B.O.P. is concerned his only requirement is to breathe in and out occasionally.

Here’s where you come in. It is up to you to keep your inmate engaged; actively involved in the outside world. Start with regular correspondence. It doesn’t have to be an epistle, a simple note or newspaper clipping sends the message that someone cares. You cannot imagine how it feels to hear your name at mail call. Not organized? I get a one page letter from my sister every month, nearly the same day of the month. Knowing my sister, she has set up an email reminder on her work computer. I don’t care how she remembers, just that it is important to me that she does. Celebrate special days with a card. Purchase them in advance, sign them and put a Post-It Note on each to remind you when to send it.

A hometown newspaper subscription keeps your inmate aware of the community goings-on.  Prison is a time machine. The induced isolation gives the perception that the outside world is in a state of suspended animation. I suspect many felons return to prison as a result of the disorientation experienced to realize the world has moved on in their absence.  Soldiers experience this as well when they return from a long deployment.

Don’t coddle. Hiding bad news is ill-advised. Your inmate is an adult, treat him like one.  Inmates need to assimilate the same information you do in order to see future decisions from your point of view. Dog died, finances tight, unexpected pregnancy, these are a part of life. It may not be welcome news but it must be dealt with regardless. Small doses over the course of an incarceration are easier to digest than a heap to choke down upon release.

Involve your inmate in family decisions. Keeping him actively involved reassures his delicate sense of manhood. Consider his input regardless of what you ultimately decide. Then follow up, especially if it is not aligned with his desires.  Even seemingly small decisions become a big deal when an inmate has nothing else to focus his attention. The take-away? Involve, don’t tell.

Prison is a tough love situation. The vast majority of us put ourselves in this situation through our self-centered behavior. Your job is to no longer tolerate self-centeredness. Your inmate may need financial support to get set up initially, for stamps and phone calls. Commissary purchases are nice, and make prison slightly more tolerable, but aren’t necessary to sustain life. Your inmate will not starve to death. Your tax dollars are not paying for steak dinners but most meals are edible. Be careful in your monetary support. The same temptations that exist in the free world exist behind bars. The weaknesses your inmate had out there are the same ones he will have in here.

I wish I could report that every inmate is penitent and uses his time behind bars to develop his strength of character. However, inmates are still human and still subject to making poor decisions. To move in a positive direction he needs a base of support: you. You are his connection to the outside world. You are his link to civilization. His successful re-entry depends in large part on how you handle his incarceration.

Now a word to my fellow inmates. You made your decisions while free, man-up and live with the consequences. Nobody on the outside owes you anything.  Don’t like your situation?  Resolve not to come back. The root of the word penitentiary is penitent which means “suffering pain or sorrow for sin with will to amend.” Amend means “to free from fault or error; to correct; to improve.” So if you are suffering in your current situation then count it all joy to have this opportunity to free your thinking and behavior from fault and error.

Write home regularly. So what if you don’t have anything to say. Clip meaningful cartoons from the paper or retell funny jokes. Your family wants to hear from you. Relate the things you are doing to better yourself. Sure there are a million negatives in prison but most of them you should keep to yourself. Look for the positive things to share.

Call those you love as often as your finances will allow. The few minutes you have are precious and expensive. Use your time wisely. Lift up those we abandoned. Listen to what they have to say. They are hip deep in bills, doctor visits, work and school. Hear what they have to say and understand they are making do without your help. The last thing they need from you is verbal abuse or instruction on what you think they need to do. Start and end conversations on an upbeat.

Don’t make demands. You are a ward of the government. Your family has no obligation to support you. Focus on living within your means. Honest, dependable, hard workers are respected everywhere; even in prison. Use this as an opportunity to develop your character and your needs will be met. Best of all, your family will respect you for it.

 

FRICTION, PROPERLY APPLIED by Richard Roy

On By Tony CassonIn Friction Properly AppliedLeave a comment

“So encourage each other and build each other up…”  1Thessalonians 5:11

An idealist believes the short run doesn’t count.  A cynic believes the long run doesn’t matter.  A realist believes that what is done or left undone in the short run determines the long run.  -Sydney Harris

A year ago I observed two young men rushing across the compound, adult continuing education books in hand.  As they neared the library they were intercepted by the warden (this warden has since retired from the BOP).

From my vantage point I could see nothing wrong: they were in prison khaki, not running, and stood respectfully as the warden addressed them.  After poking his finger at them for a few minutes, the warden motioned to someone outside my field of vision.  The yard officer rode up in the golf cart from his station at the key.  The warden pointed at the inmates and then in the direction of the key/housing units.  The warden headed to the administration building while the rest moved out of my sight.  Ten minutes later the operations lieutenant escorted the two young men to the “hole;” the disciplinary housing unit.  A couple weeks went by before I had the opportunity to speak with one of the men.  He told me the warden considered them out of bounds even though the housing unit officer and two yard officers allowed them out of the unit and across the yard at the end of the hourly move to participate in re-entry programming.

This is where my pre-incarcerated faith in the Federal Bureau of Prisons (BOP) shattered.  I assumed the dual purpose of incarceration was punishment and rehabilitation.  The odd report or news article laying out the failure of rehab did nothing to dispel the idea that it must be the inmate’s fault if the programming didn’t take.  It never crossed my mind that BOP leadership erects barriers to rehabilitation.

Friction, properly applied, is a wonderful thing.  It is the factor that allows our motivation to grip and propel us forward.  A corrections officer making a decision to encourage inmate participation in re-entry is one such example.  But place an icy patch on that highway to rehab, now a soul slides out of control.  Where will he regain traction?  What direction will he face when he suddenly shoots forward again?  Or will he simply slam on the brakes, shut down, scared to venture forth under his own locomotion, fearful of more ice patches.  Understand, there are a lot more inmates who choose not to prepare for re-entry than do.  Those who start in the right direction are rare individuals and need all the encouragement we can give.

I am afraid entire generations are lost to our society.  Little consideration is given to the long term consequences in the frenzy to lock up the bad guys.  Many questioned George Bush’s decision to go back into Iraq without a clear exit strategy.  Yet in our creep to mass incarceration we allowed those same politicians to mire us in a war against crime with no exit strategy.

A lot of the men I live with are incredibly ignorant but not stupid.  Many, though, were engaged in entrepreneurial activity acceptable in their peer group or neighborhood.  They were working within the limits of their knowledge and understanding, not letting ignorance hinder the desire to succeed.  Unacceptable as a social norm?  Sure.  Predictable?  Absolutely.

So now we (society) have locked up the bad (ignorant yet entrepreneurial) guys.  Where do we go from here?  Is it enough to stick them behind razor wire and cross our collective fingers as we hope they figure it out?  Unchecked incarceration is unsustainable as now thousands of unprepared men and women are poised for release.

My hope for our political leaders is a rethinking of mass incarceration.  In the meantime I implore the BOP leadership to consider the consequences of friction, properly applied.  Make it easy – rewarding even – to do the right things:  continuing education, spiritual awareness, financial planning, business opportunities.  Make it more difficult to access time wasters.  Propel men into productivity.  Return men to their community armed with the knowledge and skills for fruitful lives that contribute to society.

And you, dear reader, ask yourself, “are my actions providing traction for those around me?”  Are you encouraging advancement with thoughtful, considered words?  Or do you blurt out the first thing that comes to mind without regard to its long term effect because it is convenient or the way you were reared?

Use the precious time you have available to lift up those around you; friction, properly applied.